notes from my return to the (paid) workforce~

I am adjusting to my new status.  It is one that involves an interesting mix of stay-at-home-mama and working-mama.  A mix that I am fortunate to have stumbled upon, for sure.

I am working part-time in the afternoons, M-F, from 2:45pm until 5 or 6pm depending on the day.  I am the second instructor at an after school program called "Art in the Afternoon" that is in the same building as the Montessori school I worked at for years before having Claire.

So I'm back in a familiar space, working with kids, making art.

And here's the kicker......

I can bring Claire with me.  
Nice, huh?

Usually.  We are definitely still adjusting and transitioning and working out some kinks.  I love that I am able to still enjoy leisurely mornings with my girl, but not too long after breakfast I start thinking about how to wear her out so that she'll nap before "we" go to work.  I am trying to figure out how to do things like write in this space and read my pile of neglected library books and stay fairly organized and prepare meals and such during my non-working hours (which certainly are most of my hours), but so far I'm not getting very far with any of that.  Oh yeah, and find time to plan art lessons, too.  There is that.

Mike has been in training a lot for the past few weeks.  It is a tad inconvenient that this training fell during my first few weeks of work, but that's how it goes.  After this week he will be able to hang with Claire in the afternoon at least 2 or 3 days a week.  Which will be great for everyone, really.

Because, you know.... sometimes it's challenging to teach an art lesson when your 19 month old (yes, really- 19 months!) is pulling on your leg yelling "Up! U-uuuuuup!  Milk! Miii-iiiiiiiiilk!".  Or when you are trying to help 10 kids thread needles and learn to sew and said 19 month old has a little meltdown in a hot stuffy room and nothing you do (with your one free hand, anyway) seems to help.

It's time like those that I've wondered a bit whether my heart is fully into this new gig.  When it's hard on her.  Because her well being is my priority, of course.

But I think it's gonna fall into place quite nicely once we settle into it.  Yes I do.

I welcome words form the wise and experienced on how to balance out such things, how to mother and work at the same time, how to let go (just a little) of your time with your babe, how to get motivated to plan meals in advance and other such household-organizing tasks....

you know, all that simple stuff~

corn on the cob and crayons, her latest discoveries

As I'm back to work as of last Thursday, I'm a bit short on words and heavy on pictures here lately.  But things are happening that need to be documented and properly noted.

For example, a child's first hurrah with crayons and a big 'ol drawing pad, and first go at fresh corn (on the cob):

here she is, telling Ziggy (with her eyes) that he had better stay away from her corn if he knows what's good for him.....

She took to both as though she'd been drawing and eating corn on the cob her entire (almost 19 months) life without me knowing it.

Maybe she has.  She can be sneaky.

fig time

Our first fig of the year!  And there are more where this came from.... at least 4 or 5, anyway.  I will continue to dream of baskets of figs in the years to come.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual, inspired by Amanda Blake Soule. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

hanging around

We almost went camping last weekend.  Almost took a 2 day trip to Knoxville to go to the zoo and explore town.

But we didn't.  We just didn't feel like driving 2 hours, nor did we want to get stuck in the possible thunderstorms of the weekend.  So instead we opted to hang around here a bit and try to explore a little.  Try not to get stuck in the same old same old rut of what we usually do on our days at home.  Computer, errands, cleaning, putzing around the house....  Now, we do a lot of that stuff and it all has it's place and there are many many days when staying around here doing nothing is exactly what we need.  Most days, really.

But with my return to work this week (I am starting on Thursday at an afternoon art program for kids) and papa's last 4 day off stretch before that happens, I felt like I wanted a little mini vacation.

Nothing extravagant.  But I had a couple "rules".  We would make some yummy meals together, explore a little, eat out a little, and not turn the computer on at all on Sunday.

It went a little something like this:

On Saturday, we did the market in the morning, which was a lot of fun after a 2 week hiatus.  Afterwards we lazed about a bit and then went out to dinner at a local Mexican place.  I loved my chipotle shrimp, Mike thought his burrito verde was a bit so-so, and we happily split the 32 ounce $3.50 Dos Equis.  Claire ate chips in bean dip and quite a bit of hot salsa and not much else.  Afterwards, we walked around the park a little and put pennies on the railroad track with plans to retrieve them later, then headed down to see what the Sourwood Festival had to offer.  Things were being packed away for the day but Claire enjoyed watching the live music and the ferris wheel spinning, and Mike and I laughed at the assortment of things people were selling at the booths.  I noticed the Ursa Minor coffee cart and planned then to come back by in the morning and try it out.  We left quickly when we heard the train whistle blow.  We had plans, ya know.  We made it in time to watch the entire train of well over 100 cars pass by and with a little help from the headlights we were able to find all three pennies.  One for each of us, of course.

On Sunday, we (by which I mean Mike) made blueberry muffins (Claire and I picked another gallon last week!) for breakfast and then slowly got things together to head out for a bit.  I picked up a Bombay Blast (espresso with steamed milk, cardamom, rose petals and pistachios, not unlike a kulfi) at the coffee cart and we headed towards Flat Rock.  The goat barns at the Carl Sandburg Home being our destination.  We made it in time to enjoy them for about 25 minutes before a thunderstorm rolled in.

 Maybe it was silly to drive 35 minutes to pet goats for 25, but I don't think so.  We like goats.  We dashed back to the car and drove to the Flat Rock Village Bakery, a delicious little place that bakes bread and pizzas in a huge wood burning oven.  Of course there are sweet treats, as well.  We split a pizza and got bread and treats to go.  Including quite possibly the most delicious chocolate chip peanut butter cookie ever made.

After a failed attempt to get Claire to nap a little once we got home, we decided to go see if those apple trees at the abandoned factory still had any fruit on them.  This time, we borrowed an apple picker from neighbors to bring along.  Good thing because there were many apples left, all way up high.  Mike was up in the trees in no time and between he and I and that nifty picking tool we brought home about 2 bushels of free unsprayed apples.

how much can a string market bag hold? not this much, apparently.

we have a photo very similar to this one from our neighborhood apple picking jaunt last year, though the toes were much, much smaller

there's one much like this, as well

I'm rather fond of rogue fruit picking, ya know.

And with that, we called it a day.  I LOVED the bit about not turning the computer on all day.  What a difference it makes.  I can see why they've made it a ritual over at Unplugged Sunday.  I just may have to join in.

On Monday we started with french toast for breakfast and a bunch of hanging around the house, with a little bit of me fretting about what we were going to do to make it a "special day".  Surely I'm not the only one who gets like that sometimes, right?  Of course any day we are all together is special and all, but you know, I wanted that "quality" and "togetherness".  Or maybe it was just that I really wanted a little spice in our day..... something making it different from all the others.

I think part of it is that now that Claire is old enough to really seem to appreciate these outings, I want more for us all to be able to do things together when schedules and such allow.

So yes, I fretted.  But just a little.  Maybe Mike would put it differently.  Hmmm.

We ended up trying out a nearby swimming hole that we'd heard much about.

It was wonderful.  Not at all crowded, just a friendly woman and her giant foster dog Silas, a polar bear of a Great Pyrenees.

 

We jumped off rocks, swam with Claire, walked up the beautiful river a ways, snacked on our blueberry lemon scone from the bakery the day before.....  I spied the perfect sandy little spot to squeeze in our little tent some night.  Hopefully soon.

Though wouldn't it be a drag if we got all cozy and set up by the river, just the 3 of us (4, including Wolfie) and then some big group came out around midnight and partied all night?

It's not that I'm old and crotchety.  Really.

It's that I'm a mama and I'm just in a different place than all that right now, you know?  You know.

After our swim we went to the playground by the lake and had the good fortune to bump into our good friends Michelle and Keegan.  (Keegan is one of Claire's best little buds, for sure)  Then, home for some homemade lentil soup on a somewhat chilly (relatively) late summer night.  I swear there have been hints of fall in the air these last few days.  I love it.

And that was that.

A lovely three days with my two loves.

A week of Thich Nhat Hanh : day six

Smiling at Your Anger


Breathing in, I feel my anger.
Breathing out, I smile.
I stay with my breathing
so I won't lose myself.


verse 49 from Present Moment, Wonderful Moment

Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living

Well if this isn't the most challenging but also one of the most necessary ones, I don't know what is.

A week of Thich Nhat Hanh : day five

Drinking Tea


This cup of tea in my two hands,
mindfulness held perfectly.
My mind and body dwell
in the very here and now.

verse 36 from Present Moment, Wonderful Moment

Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living






Maybe making our simple daily practices into rituals and opportunities for mindfulness and just a bit of quiet calm is one of the most powerful (and simplest) ways to slow it down a notch (or several) when we need to.

Which I suppose is most every day really.

I think after this week of reflecting on these verses I'm just going to have to tape them up around the house so I see them and remember to soak up their quiet and simple wisdom every day.

it's tea time, I do believe.

A week of Thich Nhat Hanh : day four

The Five Contemplations


This food is the gift of the earth, the sky,
numerous living beings
and much hard and loving work.


May we eat with mindfulness and gratitude
so as to be worthy to receive this food.


May we recognize and transform unwholesome
mental formations,
especially our greed.


May we take only foods that nourish us
and keep us healthy.


We accept this food so that we may nurture
our sisterhood and brotherhood,
build our Sangha, and nourish our ideal
of serving living beings.


verse 32 from Present Moment, Wonderful Moment

Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living




One place that I am most ready to be more mindful is at mealtime.  For so many reasons.  For me, for Claire, for my sense of calm and peace while eating....  and of course to remind myself at such an important time of day to be grateful for what I have and to acknowledge all that has gone into bringing it to our table.

We had a shortened version of this blessing up on our fridge for a long time and I loved it so much.  I am happy to now know the full version.  I think it's quite beautiful.

A week of Thich Nhat Hanh : day three

Hugging Meditation


Breathing in,
I am so happy to hug my beloved.
Breathing out,
I know she is real and alive in my arms.


verse 25 from Present Moment, Wonderful Moment

Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living






I'm big on hugs for the people I love dearly.  Strong hugs.  Ones that last a while.  It is quite important that both arms be used in such a hug unless there are extenuating circumstances (broken arm, holding something that is on fire....) making it impossible for one of the huggers to do so.

I was pleasantly surprised to read this verse, reminding us to be mindful when we hug and notice it (holding our loved ones in our arms) for the gift it truly is.

We are not here forever.  And so, we must remember to show our loved ones the love and gratitude we feel for them while we are here.  While they are here.  We are reminded of this when tragedy strikes and we or someone we know lose someone.  And then we are a bit better about remembering and connecting.  For a while.

I hope to hug deeply, remember and connect more regularly.

Because really, isn't that what it's all about?

A week of Thich Nhat Hanh : day two

Morning Meditation


The Dharmakaya is bringing morning light.
Sitting still, my heart is at peace.
I smile.
This is a new day.
I vow to go through it in awareness.
The sun of wisdom will shine everywhere.

verse 15 from Present Moment, Wonderful Moment

Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living

I really, really love this one.
wisdom, indeed.

A week of Thich Nhat Hanh : day one

Following the Breath


Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment.


verse 14 from Present Moment, Wonderful Moment

Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living

So sweet and so simple.  

I've been working on bringing my focus more on living in the moment, being grateful for the present, mindful of what I have, what I am experiencing...

It can be so hard to slow down and do this!

So, I will keep reminding myself to

breathe, deeply

slow down
notice things
smile

all we have is now, right?

where I'm at (a self portrait, of sorts)

At times I cannot find patience no matter how hard I search.
Sometimes though, I have an infinite reserve.
This makes me human, I know.  And still I want so badly to have it always.



Witnessing the community and brotherhood at the loss of one of Mike's fellow firefighters,
I cried at the sights and sounds of mourning, at the words of daughters and a wife left behind, at the handing over of flags and helmets.
I smiled at the telling of fond memories, at the power in group recollection.
I imagined.......
because how could I not?
I know better though, and you can be sure I stopped imagining pretty quickly.

instead I counted my blessings

so grateful for what I have, and so much more so for who I have,
though of course they are not really mine, no one is...
still, grateful for it all

So I go to the garden with my girl, to the porch with her, the creek...
in those places I find happiness, relief, a thousand answers to a thousand questions

I watch her explore.
And oh, that is such strong medicine for me.
I remember to be thankful that I'm able to be here, watching her explore.
I tell her not to pick the unripe tomatoes.
I'm waiting for those, you know.
She picks them anyway.
Of course she does.
If I were her height, staring right at those shiny little green globes... I'd pick them too.
I remind myself to laugh, to smile, not scold.
What can I expect from a toddler in a garden?
Her "helping" (though not helpful in the most obvious of ways) holds many lessons for me.
And so, helping it is.
Suppose maybe I should be thanking her for picking the unripe tomatoes?
Hmm.  Nah.
They are sungolds, after all.



I'm working on recognizing when the things I "need" to do aren't really.
On being fair,
on being mindful.
That, especially.
And other things as well.

I really (really) want to not mind when my cat jumps all over me meowing in his needy incessant way.  I know it's just that he loves me and it's been a long time since he's had my undivided attention.  But still, I've got a ways to go.  How do I explain to him that it's been a long time since I've had my undivided attention?

I'm preferring beer over wine these days,
coffee and tea equally,
and wondering if chocolate milk, melon and toasted sourdough with blueberry jam could be a balanced diet.  Oh, and grilled cheese with fresh tomatoes and squash.
Mmmm, and ice cream.
Throw in some cucumbers and greens for good measure.

Happily I move from classical guitar to bluegrass to hip hop, enjoying how each makes me move in a different way.  Smile in a different way.  Generally go about my business in different ways.
Interact even, in different ways.
I wonder if Andres Segovia and Sam Bush would get along?
Gillian Welch and Common?
I'm sure if we threw Michael Franti into the mix he'd make sure everyone got on just great.

I hug.  Long and hard.

I love.  Deeply.

But I can also be quite a pain to those I hug and love.  Of course.

I wonder about things.  Some big things.  A lot of seemingly insignificant things.
How do we find the balance between feeling grief and empathy and maintaining a positive outlook and joyful heart amidst pain and suffering?  Why do some people get dogs just to chain them up and ignore them?  Why is there always a cricket in the bathroom?  Should I be concerned about getting Margaret to sleep in the coop instead of outside? (Margaret is a chicken)  Which wooden play kitchen do I want to get for Claire?  Does the train in town follow a regular schedule?  How can I become more mindful about making sure that the people in my life who are most dear to me know it?  Do they know it?  It's 11pm, should I get the diapers off the line or leave them until tomorrow?

In the evening when the wind blows and it's just the right temperature and I close my eyes, letting it swirl around me, I am in heaven.

The same applies to when I am near the coast, any coast, and I feel the warm salty ocean breeze and hear the gulls.
Close my eyes.
Heaven.


there.
that's enough for now.
I quite enjoyed that.


For the rest of the week, I'll be sharing some of my favorite passages from the book I am enjoying now, Present Moment, Wonderful Moment, Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living, by Thich Nhat Hanh.  I've chosen the half dozen verses that resonate with me the most right now and I'll share at least one each day.  


cheers~

jamberry

Blueberry jam, of course.  Take two.

This time around I used the Pomona's pectin and was quite happy with it.  Since there is no citric acid in it (like there is in the Ball No/Low sugar pectin) you have to add either lemon or lime juice to the mixture to insure it will be acidic enough to not spoil.  I hadn't planned on that, but luckily we had some lime juice left over from our key lime pie making last week.

We processed most of our berries from our picking adventure last week, giving us another 19 jars of jam for a total of 22.  We still have enough left for one more batch.  I'm thinking another half dozen or so jars and I'll call it good on the jam for us and for gifting.

But of course we'll need more for the freezer.  For muffins and pancakes and pies and cobblers and smoothies and yum, yum, YUM!

I suppose that mean another picking trip is in order.  I'll have to break it to Mike gently and start buttering him up now with visions of muffins and pancakes....  Yes, I think that will work quite well.





"hatberry, shoeberry, in my canoeberry"

-from Jamberry

our garden, mid summer

The raised beds have worked out nicely for us, giving us (almost) enough space to grow what we want and making it quite simple to keep things weed-free, mulched and tidy.  We plan to add two more 4'x8' beds before the season is over, so we'll be able to get them ready for next year and add an extra 64 square feet of gardening space.   Those will go right next to the existing beds in a location that was previously home to an apple tree that recently had to come down due to some kind of root rot.  Mike has taken all but the trunk down and we are trying to root some of the stump sprouts (by bending and then pinning part of them into the soil) to see if we can get a viable sapling or two from the original tree to add to our 'orchard' of 2 apple trees planted this year.  Fingers crossed.

When I returned home from our whirlwind beach trip last week I found a pile of urban homesteading books from the library piled up on the coffee table.  Mike had been doing quite a bit of reading and had even written up a letter to the owner of the unused 1/4 acre lot next door.  A sort of "sending out some feelers" letter to see if she'd be interested in selling her property to us at a fair price.  You know, so that we could, perhaps:

expand our current 1/3 acre to a little over 1/2 acre,
add to our small flock of laying hens,
look into raising some chickens (to eat),
and a goat or two for milking,
increase our garden space in order to be able to can/freeze a fair amount,
maybe add several more fruit trees and a big 'ol blueberry patch.....

and so on.  you know, dream, dream, DREAM.

We hadn't thought to look into whether or not we were allowed to do all that.  Turns out, no goat.  I suppose we kinda should have figured as much.  You need at least 2 acres around here to have any kind of livestock so that they can be kept at least 150 feet away from any dwelling or property lines.  Of course we wouldn't have wanted to keep a cow or something that required much more space in an area so small, but we figured we could keep a goat or two pretty happy on 1/2 acre.  Oh well.  We haven't sent the letter out yet, but we're thinking about it.  Minus the goats, the rest of the dream is still pretty nice.

In the meantime, we're happily checking on our little garden, watching bees and tending to our hens.  (turns out the hen we've been assuming was the freeloader is actually one of the layers.... I went to shoo her out of the nesting box the other day because Pearl was getting anxious and I thought she wanted to get in and lay, and as I went to coax Mabel out she layed an egg right there in my hand!  I can't very well question who is laying that light colored egg anymore,  now can I?)

We are also smelling flowers,

and picking flowers,

and picking lots of beans.  Picking beans is Claire's current favorite garden activity.  She runs to the garden yelling "beeets! bee-eeets! pick-pick!" and then carefully picks them, transferring them from picking hand to bowl and eating a few as she goes.  (I wonder what she'll call the actual beets?)

The bees are busy coming and going, piling into our winter squash blossoms and drinking from the reservoir on the outside of our neighbor's window-unit air conditioner.  I discovered that yesterday as I was on the side of the house watering the fig trees and suddenly noticed a highway of bees going to and from our neighbor's window.  Sure enough, there they were, happily sipping at the cool water.  We had been wondering where they were getting their water since the level in the reservoir we put out for them never seems to go down.  I think, actually, that it is probably just serving as a mosquito breeding ground so I should just dump it out....

More on the bees to come later in the week~

I'm thinking it will be time to make a little pesto soon....

Anxiously waiting for the sungolds to ripen,

along with the Eva Purple Ball tomatoes (SO good), some yellow pear cherry tomatoes, red cherry, Brandywines and some mystery plum tomatoes.  We aren't big tomato sauce eaters around here, preferring our pasta with butter, garlic, oil and such, but I'm hoping to can some whole tomatoes and a few different kinds of salsa.

There is also celery in our garden for the first time ever.  It's getting there.

We are watching the winter squash take over the paths between the beds (and beyond).  I saved some seeds from a "Winter Luxury" pumpkin that I purchased at the market last fall because it was so, so tasty and now we have 5 large plants.  I filled in a hole with a "Long-Island Cheese" pumpkin, but think it may be getting shaded out by these monsters....

Our watermelon got a late start.... hoping to watch this baby grow so we can enjoy some fresh-from-the-garden-juice-dripping-down-our-chins watermelon moments later in the summer.

I could use some fresh ideas for preparing beets.  My go-to method is roasting them, which is so incredibly tasty, but I am looking for some other options.

And last but not least, we are enjoying eating some strawberries after picking off all of the blossoms earlier this year to let the plants get a good start putting their energy into setting roots and growing big and strong.  We planted 28 plants in a bed and there are probably already double that from all of the suckers!  Soon, another bed (or 2?) and we will transplant many of the suckers to a cozy and (for now) roomy bed of their own so that we can enjoy many many berries next year.  And strawberry jam, of course.  Thinking of squeezing in a rhubarb or two in the new bed as well....

There are, of course, some garden challenges.  I am regularly removing blighted leaves from the bottoms of a few of my tomatoes, trying to keep powdery mildew at bay on the winter squash, wondering why some things just aren't growing, and very much hoping that next year our fig trees will reward us with more than 4 or 5 figs each.  But those things are all just part of it.  We are lucky to be getting rain here on a somewhat regular basis and when we don't our rain barrels are helping to fill the gaps.

We used up a lot of our older seeds this year (I find they keep quite a while in the fridge or freezer) and I am already excited about starting fresh with new seeds next year.  And if we get the cold frames or mini-greenhouse we're talking about making with our old storm windows made in time, we just might be able to get a jump on things and grow most everything from seed.  If, if, if.  There are still lots of things on that list of ours.

And I'm sure it will stay that way for a long time, since we are adding things to it all the time.

Oh, those dreams.

to the river

We took Claire and Wolfie for a little walk down by the river one late afternoon last week.  There's a trail that runs along the river and adjacent to the farm on the Warren Wilson College campus, and about a mile or so down is a fabulous swimming spot, complete with beach.

Mike wants to get Claire swimming as soon as possible and this place is just perfect for some papa swim lessons.  I much prefer it to the community pool, and I think she does too.  Instead of an overwhelmingly loud and busy scene with loads of screaming and squealing kids and water splashing everywhere, there is this:

We weren't the only ones around, but most of the time it was just us and it felt like our own private swimming hole.  It is deep enough that in places I can stand with my chin just above the water.  It is clear, cool but not cold, just far enough of a walk to keep huge crowds at bay but close enough to make it a simple journey with a baby and a dog who has lost a bit of the pep in his step.

Close to perfect, really.

Claire quite enjoyed her 'swim lesson'

And then yesterday, Claire and I went back to the river for another round of swimming with our good friends Michelle and Keegan.

Michelle and I met in a Mamatime group (thank goodness for the support of other new mamas when you are just getting going on this grand adventure) when the little ones were about 3 1/2 months old.  They (and we) have become pretty good buds~

They love to throw rocks in the water, and are pretty good about throwing them in appropriate directions.

And then, on the walk back, they held hands.  Sigh.

As we were getting back to the cars, Michelle asked me if I knew whether or not the apples were ready yet.  I had no idea what apples she was talking about, so she told me about an abandoned factory that we passed on our way out to the river that had some apple trees on the property.  So, always interested in free fruit and the like, I stopped on my way back and was happy to see Michelle pull into the drive shortly after.  Yes, the apples are ready.

If only we'd had an apple-picker with us (you know, those long handled wire basket things?) we could have reached a bunch more way up high.  Instead, we grabbed what we could find off the ground in good condition, and I climbed a little way up and gave the tree a quick shimmy and shake and down fell another dozen or so.

Enough for us each to make a couple pies or crisps.

Maybe Mike and I can go back.  With our clam rake.  It isn't exactly unlike an apple picker.  Though of course I suppose it would just knock them down right on top of our heads.

We'll see.  He does like to climb trees, so maybe I can convince him to climb up high to get us some......