39 years, 39 things

Well hello.  It's been a good long while since I've spent any time in this space.  I'm spending way less time with my (big) camera these days, less time on the computer.  And it shows here.  I've got over a thousand photos on my phone and a few hundred on my camera from our epic 7 week road trip this summer, and I hope to share some of that here, soon.  If nothing else, I know I want to continue using this space as a photo journal of our days, an easy and visual way to catalog and honor the highlights from our little world.

For right now, though, I'm here to compose and share my annual birthday gratitude list~ something I several years ago and always look forward to.  A way to mindfully notice the things (and people) in my life that I am most grateful for.  The things (and people) that I want more of in the world, that I say a resounding 'YES!' to.

So without further ado,  my 39 things:

*slow, easy mornings

*my morning tea

*plants (this is an understatement and a bit vague.... I've got my favorites of course- tulsi, calendula, maple, oak, ferns, mint, lemon verbena, larkspur and peony, and so on.)

*birdsong

*hearing the train whistle as it wraps around the valley, especially at night

*the neighborhood screech owls calling to one another at night as the weather cools

*that magic dancing liquid light of early morning and late afternoon

*the way she still, for now, fits so well in my lap and in my arms

*our incredible summer road trip- 50 days, 11,000 miles (!), the three of us in our van camping and exploring our way all across this big and beautiful country.  What an immense gift.

*the time and space and energy to farm our little yard as much as we can with flowers and vegetables and herbs and fruit, and the therapy and meditative satisfaction I get from doing so

*our sweet Ollie cat

*that we are able to homeschool, and for the freedom and time and space and flexibility that doing so affords us as a family

*composting

*books. particularly novels. particularly, (it would seem from my favorites) historical fiction and magical realism that isn't too fantastic.

*my slippers

*listening to her practice the piano, and music in general

*my job(s) that I love- teaching after school art, part-time seasonal farm work, a bit of writing...

*salty ocean air

*waterfalls (the best church there is, in my opinion)

*bubbly and tasty and fizzy homemade kombucha

*all the fermented foods

*the community of women that come together to make magic twice a year at my swaps

*the great good luck of having been born in a time and a place with clean water and good medicine and public sanitation, where I am safe, secure, and not in the midst of famine or civil war or immediate danger

*the amazing generation of young and ingenuitive climate activists fighting and stirring folks up in a great effort to address the very real and very clear and dire state of things on a global ecological scale

*and their peers who are fighting for common sense gun laws, teenagers who are tired of seeing their classmates murdered; trying to shout loudly enough over the lobbyists to have legislators and everyone acknowledge that the public at large have no need (or right) to possess weapons of war and that bulletproof backpacks is a pretty awful and ridiculous solution

*yoga

*the forest

*having been among the giant sequoias with my loves this summer

*the tidal pools behind the sea stacks along the shore at Olympic National Park

*all the southern Utah back roads

*the US National Forest Service's dispersed camping opportunities

*my main squeeze, for everything.

*my family~ that which I was born into, married into, and the friends who have become family

*The big and bittersweet honor of watching my girl as she very slowly crests her little-girlhood and starts to turn toward adolescence.  There is much little girl about her yet, but I can sense we are on the cusp of big things.  I've seen that for a long while now.

*the way I accept more about myself as each year passes

*that particular hike in North Cascades NP, the most beautiful hike of my life so far

*our woodstove

*home

*good food


Ah.  I enjoyed that.  I never peek at previous lists before making these, though obviously there's always sure to be a good bit of overlap from year to year.  Below I'll link the lists from previous years, in case you've got any interest in checking them out.

38

37 (so many good photos in this one- food, farm, camping, total solar eclipse, birthday campout, the sea, our trip up to the Adirondacks....)

36 (this one has links to all the previous years as well)

cheers from here~

2018 book list

Well, it would certainly seem that I'm still in that weird "instagram at my blog" stage, but I can't not share a beginning of the year post on my previous year's reading list.  Below are my reads (generally fiction, I tend not to keep track of the nonfiction as much) from last year, in order of them being read, with the ones I enjoyed the most starred. I'd love to hear from you what your favorite reads of the year (or ever) were and which books you're looking forward to reading.  Happy New Year to everyone, and happy reading in 2019!

*The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Kindred- Octavia E. Butler
*The Indigo Girl
*Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
*Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince
*Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Zoli
The Power
Dirt Road
All the Pretty Horses
Grace
Claire of the Sea Light
Americanah
*Little Fires Everywhere
Swimming Between Worlds
Atomic City Girls
How to be a Feminist
Barracoon
Leopard at the Door
*The Great Alone
The Last Letter From Your Lover
A Beautiful Young Woman
Winter Garden
Plain Language
Southernmost
Home for Unwanted Girls
Big Stone Gap
Big Cherry Holler
Milk Glass Moon
Back to Big Stone Gap
SLOW: Simple Living for a Frantic World
The Woman in Cabin 10
The Color Purple
Moon of the Crusted Snow
*Educated
Coastliners
*The Hate You Give
*A Gentleman in Moscow


With Claire:

Swallows and Amazons
The Hobbit
The Curious Evolution of Calpurnia Tate
The Penderwicks at Point Mouette
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix



Here's my 2017 book list post, which has that year's list as well as links to the lists from 2013, 2014, 2105, and 2016. 

Our (mindful, minimal) Advent

(all photos in this post are from years past)

When my daughter was just shy of three I decided on the eve of December to put together a simple little advent calendar for her.  It was the first year I felt she was really of an age to get into the anticipation and celebration of the season, and I wanted a simple way to pull more from the short and darkening days as we approached the winter solstice and Christmas.  Parenthood certainly amplified the seemingly light-speed passing of time, so I welcomed most anything that helped remind me to put on the brakes, slow down, and be in the moment.

When I say 'on the eve of December' I literally mean that I was sitting in the hall just outside her door quite late at night on November 30th cutting and fastening and decorating and hanging little colorful paper pockets numbered 1 through 24.  I'd seen all sorts of ideas about ways to put together a simple little calendar- from small packages strung from a branch to paper stars stitched shut with a little trinket inside to toilet paper tubes filled with treats and sealed over with tissue paper to wee little gnomes carrying scrolls of paper- ideas aplenty abounded on the inter webs, each one as lovely as the next.  Drawn as I was personally to the brown kraft paper and twigs look, I ended up going with brightly colored paper hoping to catch her two year old fancy.

Well, it worked.  That first year I often tucked a small treat inside the pocket- a candy cane maybe, or a new ornament.  A gift of a book or some other such thing with the paper pocket from that day clipped to it.  Those little capsule things that 'grow' into animal-shaped sponges when placed in warm water.  Treasures.  More often than not though, what was tucked inside the pocket was a note with a suggestion for something we could do together.  Sometimes service or community oriented, often a small way to mindfully yet meaningfully celebrate the season together.  In the mornings she would wake and we'd hear her run over to the calendar and reach her little toddler fingers into the pocket for the slip of paper for that day and come pitter-patter-stomping into our room for us to read it to her.  And a sweet and simple (and certainly a favorite) holiday tradition of ours was born.

At the end of each December day there comes the second part of our advent calendar tradition- my favorite part, the part that has the magic and the staying power for me as a mama looking back over the years.  Beginning that first year, when she was still so little, I'd ask her to tell me something that she was grateful for, thankful for, something that made her happy.  And then I'd write it on the back of the slip of paper and clip the paper atop the pocket from that day (which made it easier for her younger self to find which day came next).  Over the years (6!) since I first made this humble little advent calendar, I've kept all of those little slips of paper and I am not sure I have the words to describe how very much I love looking back over the gratitudes on the backs of those little slips of paper.  From that first year :"the cheepy sounds the birds make", and "gorillas".  From the past few years there have been all sorts of favorites ranging from "warm, snuggly mama" to "Ollie" (our handsome grey feline), "the land, the planet", "the air we breathe", "our good, happy life "our town, and our walk to town today" and so on.  They don't look like much, just colorful little scraps, sometimes bent up and crushed a bit.  But they're like magic to this mama's heart.

The things I write daily for the calendar- they aren't grand gestures.  Sure, there are a few pretty special ones each year like going to the Nutcracker and getting our tree and things like that.  But so many of those slips are filled with the simplest of suggestions for things that, honestly, we often do anyway.  They're just dressed up a bit for the advent calendar, is all.  Drawn from a little colorful pocket, they become special and are promoted to an almost ritual-like status. The joy that she gleans from these simplest of things shows me that, simply by being mindful and deliberate in how we go about our days, we can elevate our experiences and enjoy them even more- even if only because we decide that we will.  There is power in that, I think.  Power, and peace and hope.

Here are some of my favorite advent calendar suggestions:

*cut paper snowflakes
*set up our advent spiral
*make swags, garland, wreaths (bring some to neighbors and friends)
*string pinecones and orange slices for decorations
*bake cookies (deliver some to the library, to friends, to family)
*bring a box of groceries or other needed items to the local food pantry (truly, straight up money is probably the most helpful there as they can likely stretch it further than we can in purchasing)
*make treats for the birds (we often do this on the solstice)
*hike to 'Gary's Tree' and add a decoration, bring hot cocoa and a book with us (this is a random tree just off the path on one of our favorite local trails that folks have been decorating for years)
*go to the town Christmas parade
*get our tree
*decorate it (of course)
*hot cocoa with breakfast
*library trip for wintry books
*walk to town for hot cocoa
*candlelit solstice dinner
*bonfires
*crafting with friends (making cards, bird treats, ornaments, anything!)
*visiting with friends and family
*go see The Nutcracker
*plant narcissus bulbs
*watch a movie together
*make gifts for friends
*caroling party at a dear friend's house


There are endless options, really.  You can make just about anything feel special and meaningful with a little bit of time and intention.  And the added magic of pulling it out of a taped together pocket of bright construction paper, of course.

Cheers to you and yours this holiday season!

Here are links to some holiday posts from years past:
Winter 2016
Thanksgiving to Advent, 2015
Joy and Cheer 2014 
Advent Activities 2014 

thirty eight

Every year on my birthday, for about the last decade, I've composed a list of things that I am grateful for.  Things I say a big 'YES!' to, things I want more of in my world.  A list of things equaling the number of years old that I am.  I aim not to think on any of it too much, but rather create a list of what first comes to mind, and surely the list includes thing big and things small.  I don't look back on previous lists until after writing the new one, but of course there are lots of repeats year to year.  And so, as today I complete my 38th trip around the sun and say hello to my 39th year on this amazing spinning orb of blue and green and other colors, I hereby present my annual gratitude list:

:: my daughter, for being such a wise teacher and a powerful mirror

:: my love- for all of the things

:: slippers

:: fire

:: birdsong in the mornings, cricket serenade at night

:: my garden

:: two jobs I enjoy immensely

:: my healthy, strong, and generally in-good-working-condition body

:: the excitement and anticipation of looking forward to our big trip next summer

:: Pandora (I know there are other options, but I'm sticking with it) - favorite stations being St. Paul & the Broken Bones and Van Morrison and Billie Holiday (and others). And while we're on music let me just add Rising Appalachia to the list.

:: listening to her practice the piano- particularly certain chord progressions, 'Let it Be', and John Denver's 'Country Roads'

:: the silky smooth and forever loyal & loving (and vocal) Ollie cat- the handsomest little grey lion that ever was

:: the option to homeschool, and the time I therefore get to spend with my brave and growing girl

:: all the same, that blissful 5 days solo recently (!)

:: tea.  preferably strong and black with a drizzle of honey and coconut milk

:: sunshine on my shoulders

:: soft, grey days

:: my favorite plants (and all the other plants as well)

:: yoga

:: salty ocean air, and the opportunity, typically, to visit it at least a couple times a year

:: living in a walkable town

:: (yet dreaming of finding that right patch of land)

:: kindness

:: honesty

:: books. BOOKS!

:: so......um, yeah..........Poldark. (the BBC show- the newer, current version) What can I say? I just really, really care about the plight of the 18th century Cornish copper miners.  That and the scenery is amazing. *ahem*

:: creative outlets, and the occasional (too occasional, so....working on that) tendency to get lost in them

:: a good, dry, hard cider

:: my friends~ they are lovely and dependable and true and good

:: the biannual handmade/homegrown swap gatherings that I host, and the amazing community of women who are a part of that

:: big dreams

:: laundry on a clothesline

:: waking to an empty kitchen sink and a clean counter

:: a sizable herbal tea stash from our very own garden

:: my family- the ones who created me, raised me, grew up beside me..... those who became family through marriage, and the close friends who have practically become siblings.

:: the great good luck of finding myself in a time and a place with resources enough to live the life I want to live

:: our local library

:: community




because it's fun to look back, here's last year's list 

(I just peeked- it was a good list- and there are loads of photos from the year.  no loads of photos this year. maybe soon, but right now I'm off to have some dessert)

Homegrown Garden & Art Camp

This is the third summer I've offered a weeklong Garden & Art camp at my home for girls Claire's age.  Many of the girls come each year and this year as they were arriving, I was thinking ahead and wondering if we'll keep this ball rolling into their adolescence, and wondering what that would look like.  I'd be honored to hold that space for them as they get older.  I suppose we'll just see how things unfold.

Considering that the first year I did this the group was 5-7 years old and now they are 7-9 years old, things have changed a bit.  In a way I saw it coming and I shifted my plans a touch- not bringing in other people to do projects as I have in the past, not planning quite as many projects for the week, planning instead on allowing there to be more open time for them to just........ be.  To just be together and play and get creative and muddy and wild and laugh deep full belly laughs and jump off of things and splash and squeal.  Watching them I felt like I was watching summer as it should be, and I loved it.

I still got materials for lots of great projects.  We made salve again, and indigo dyed (pillowcases this time).  We made bug spray and did some painting and embroidery.  Each girl made her own set of hand-dipped beeswax birthday candles to use at her next birthday celebration, and there was ample time in the garden learning about herbs and time wrangling and tending the chickens.  Within an hour of camp getting started on the first day one friend asked if we could please make jam again and when I told her the raspberries were already all done she didn't miss a beat and said "ok- well how about those cookies?"  Last year we made peanut butter cookies and raspberry jam and we maybe enjoyed them together by dipping the cookies into the sticky and still warm jam pot after all the jars were filled.  "Yes, we can for sure make cookies again", I said.


As they are now older and more capable and less squirrelly I felt comfortable taking them on a longer expedition and so one day we walked a ways to a trail and splashed and played and had lunch by the swimming hole and then walked back.  The walk back was not without complaints and it was not carried out at what I would call a fast pace.  It was more of a dragging, ambling......'shuffle' back.  At one point I was carrying four or five backpacks.  They really were such troopers and some of them were probably carrying two thirds of their own weight in wet towels and clothes and lunch stuff, so..... I carried.


One sweet girl who comes every year was recently asked "so what kind of camp is this that you go to?" and she replied "oh- we make jam and salve and stuff like that. It's a farming and earth camp."

I'm good with that.  In fact, I love it.



So here we are - year three of my little homespun, homegrown Garden & Art (or 'Farming & Earth') camp completed.  It just keeps getting better.  In fact, this year I've done a few days for the younger set (4-5 year olds), and I have a couple 'Mama Camp' days coming up as well.  I'm loving it all and excited about the possibilities herein for connection and fun and memory-making and all other sorts of goodness as well.  And this group of girls?  It is an honor and a joy to watch them just be together and enjoy summer, and I am thrilled to get to be a part of their childhood summer memories.

2017 book list

The 2017 book list:
(favorites marked with an *)



Marrow Island, Alexis M. Smith
The Comet Seekers, Helen Sedgwick
Carry On, Warrior, Glennon Doyle Melton
*To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
Go Set a Watchman, Harper Lee
The Wonder, Emma Donoghue
*A Man Called Ove, Fredrik Backman
News of the World, Paulette Jiles
My Antonia, Willa Cather
The Horse Dancer, Jojo Moyes
A Thousand Mornings, Mary Oliver
The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood
The Signature of All Things, Elizabeth Gilbert
The Lost Art of Mixing, Erica Bauermeister
One Plus One, Jojo Moyes
The Housemaid's Daughter, Barbara Mutch

My Grandmother Asked me to Tell You She's Sorry, Fredrik Backman

Ship of Brides, Jojo Moyes
*A Country Road, A Tree, Jo Baker
*The Road, Cormac McCarthy
The Fever Tree, Jennifer McVeigh
Suttree, Cormac McCarty
The Moon is Down, John Steinbeck
*A Piece of the World, Christina Baker Kline
Vitamin N, Richard Louv
Caroline: Little House, Revisited, Sarah Miller
*Before We Were Yours, Lisa Wingate
The God of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
*Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders
*Beartown, Fredrik Backman
*The Alice Network, Kate Quinn
H is for Hawk, Helen Macdonald
*Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer

Anne of Green Gables, L.M. Montgomery (with Claire)
The Poet's Dog, Patricia McLachlan (with Claire)
Little House in Brookfield, Maria D. Wilkes (with Claire)
Little Town at the Crossroads, Maria D. Wilkes (with Claire)
My Side of the Mountain, Jean Craighead George (with Claire)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling (with Claire)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, J.K. Rowling (with Claire)
*Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling (with Claire)

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It's possible that I look forward to this annual book list post more than any other.  I love the looking back at previous lists and rereading folks' recommendations.  There's something about it that feels tidy and good and comforting, a long list of books read.  All the stories imagined and characters met- it's like I've got this whole new world of experiences to pull from, even if I merely lived vicariously through the words someone else put to paper.

I've come to find I really like Fredrik Backman's style.  I read three of his books this year (after previously having read zero).  He gets to the point but provides plenty of imagery without being too 'flowery', and I find his work generally "quippy", which I quite appreciate as long as it doesn't involve someone being a real asshole.  I also read three books by Jojo Moyes this year, and liked them all, especially The Horse Dancer and The Ship of Brides.  I'd say I see her books as being somewhat light (in a good way), and a sure bet that I will be entertained for a few days and come away glad that I read them (with the exception of Me Before You, which I loved, but it left me sobbing and feeling pretty bare for a couple days, and The Girl You Left Behind, which was definitely a bit heavier than the other books I've read of hers- the fact that it was her writing blended with a historical fiction made it an easy sell for me and it was one of my favorites from last year).  Sometimes a book moves me so much I find I can't start another one for a bit because I need more time to let it really settle in (The Grapes of Wrath, The Snow Child, Poisonwood Bible, All the Light We Cannot See, To the Bright Edge of the World, and How Yoga Works, to name a few).  I can't say I really felt that way about any of the books I read this year, though there certainly were several books that I really loved.  I suppose, actually, that I felt that way after reading The Road, but that may have been more a feeling of being disturbed than generally moved, if that makes sense.  Some I found very intriguing and original even though I wouldn't call them favorites- The Comet Seekers, The Wonder, The God of Small Things.  The Signature of All Things is one that I had tried to read last year and just couldn't get into.  I stuck with it this time and have to say I eventually got hooked in and then lost myself in a world of travel and mosses and sad love stories but it took a solid 100 or so pages to get me feeling like I really cared about what was going on.  From there on, I really loved it- but I feel like to put a little star next to a book I need to not feel so 'meh' about the first 100 pages.

The Road really got to me.  Oooph.  It is so intense and horrific and so unlike the books I usually read.  I felt gutted by it, and yet still it was a favorite, for sure.  I just loved the writing.  It was raw and sparse but somehow just beautiful.  I loved his writing so much that I went and checked out Suttree pretty immediately after but gosh that was different.  I felt like I slogged through that one.  Still, I'm looking forward to reading more Cormac McCarthy.

The Alice Network was right up my alley- historical fiction about strong women in German-occupied France during (mostly) WWII.  Parts of it reminded me of The Nightingale, which was one of my favorites from last year.

Lincoln in the Bardo was such an interesting read.  I've never read anything like it.  It took me a bit to settle in and get a clear picture of what on Earth was going on but once I was in I was so glad I stuck around- it is so entertaining and vividly described.  It is essentially one evening in the life of Abraham Lincoln (the night his son dies) narrated by a whole host of 'ghosts' that are stuck in this purgatory-like existence and are watching the goings on.  I found it to be a really quick read.  It is wild and different and........ well, I liked it a lot.

Braiding Sweetgrass is..... well, it's just gorgeous.  From the book jacket: "...she embraces the notion that plants and animals are our oldest teachers....to show that the awakening of a wider ecological consciousness requires the acknowledgement and celebration of our reciprocal relationship with the rest of the living world."  Really, it is just beautiful.  It is science and folklore and indigenous wisdom, and the secret lives of plants all mixed up in this perfect little package.

As you can see- we've entered the world of Harry Potter.  It's a family affair- I read chapters aloud on the evenings papa isn't at the fire department, that way we all know what's going on.  We're about 150 pages into book 4 now, and once we finish it we plan to hold there for a good long while.  No need to rush her little self into too dark a world just yet, I figure.  She can go back and reread the others if she wishes.

And I suppose that's that.  Of course there were nonfiction reads too- mostly about the AIP (autoimmune paleo) diet, general wellness, gardening, homesteading this and that, etc.  Oh there was a beautiful book called Cabin Porn (NOT porn) that was full of gorgeous images of interesting dwellings and stories about the folks who built and lived in them.  Such eye candy.


I started making these lists in 2013 after being inspired by a friend to do so.  If you're interested in reading previous lists, you can follow the links below:

2013
2014
2015
2016

Also, as always, I'd LOVE to hear what your favorites were, and heartily encourage the sharing of book recommendations and reviews.  Cheers!

winter bits :: making merry- the in between

The week between Christmas and New Year's Day is, as far as I'm concerned, best taken at a snail's pace.  Nowhere to go, nothing big on the agenda.  Just a whole lot of fireside reading and tea drinking,  puzzles, catching up (sort of) on the newspaper, playing board games (Clue!), a whole lot of movie watching, and, new to us, setting up and engineering a very old train set.  There were some great family and friend visits as well, but really we just sort of hunkered down.  Papa worked New Year's Eve and so she and I just had a simple little 'hurrah!' hours early and then went to bed.  We talked ever so briefly about the idea of setting intentions for the year ahead and when I asked her if there was anything she'd like to do more or less of in the coming year, she told me she'd like to drink more water and volunteer more with a local nonprofit called Bounty and Soul, which we have been aiming to volunteer with weekly for the last couple months.  They provide fresh produce (along with free yoga classes, recipes, nutrition education, etc) to families in need and have been working hard to make a dent in the food insecurity in our county.  I told her I thought both of those things sounded great.

I've yet to give much thought to any intentions of my own for the coming year. Well, I am aiming to hydrate more and commit to stretching/doing yoga for at least a brief period each day, and so far so good on both counts.  Beyond that though, I don't know.  I'm not really a 'pick a word for the year' kinda gal.  I think it's a nice idea and all, but I think it's just that, at this point, I feel like I know.  I already know what I want to work on and do more of and bring into my life.  I already know what doesn't serve me and what I'd like to let go of.  I am becoming more and more familiar with what my 'work' in life is, both in terms of honing my character just so and also simply accepting myself where I'm at.  I suppose I just no longer want to make lofty resolutions.  But I can hang with 'drink more water' and 'move more'.  Reckon I'd like to write more letters as well.  It's the little things, right? (but speaking of writing down thoughts on how to approach the coming year and such, here's something real pretty that a friend of mine wrote)

New Year's Day we made the traditional southern meal of black eyed peas and collard greens, with collards picked right from our (very cold) backyard.  As it has in so many places lately, it has been really, really cold here.  Highs steadily below freezing, lows in the single digits, and wind chill even lower.  The wood stove is a very hungry beast these days, and we're watching as the wood pile dwindles steadily (so thankful for the big stockpile of wood papa prepared for us earlier this year!).

Happy 2018 to you and yours.  Wishing you a year of health and happiness and goodness all around.