1.10.2012

only so much




I've been thinking a bit lately about where the line is that separates the amount of outside inspiration that supports and enhances your family/home/real life and the amount that detracts from it.

I'm thinking the answer is fairly fluid, something that shifts and changes depending on what our life is like at the time, and not in fact a definitive line.

But still. 

As it stands, I have craft books, bookmarked links and pages torn from magazines enough to keep me busy for the next couple of decades.  No doubt it is fun to carry on looking for and acquiring ideas that inspire, but as with anything, there lies the possibility of too much of a good thing.

Writing in this space has been wonderful.  I feel motivated to write often and have noticed that in anticipation of doing so, I am at times persuaded (by myself) to go about my day more mindfully.  In a way that I'd feel good writing about.  (Of course, being human and all, that's not always the case... not at all.  But for me this space is more about reflecting on the positive than stewing on the negative.  Be sure, there is dirty laundry, and plenty of it.  I just choose not to air it out here) Very much like the way keeping a food journal generally helps steer us towards healthier food choices.  A bit of accountability, I suppose.  Recording our days and marking the passage of time in a way that feels like I am honoring it a bit more than were I not taking the time to reflect, pause, photograph.

But.

Writing in this space drives me to want to reach out and connect with others doing just the same.  A really, truly great thing, I do believe.  We build community, gain support, motivate and encourage.

Splendid.

And so, on a small scale, reach out I do and reach out I will continue to do.  Naturally, reaching out like that makes it (way too) easy to further reach out and look and click on links until I can't even remember where I started.  And suddenly 2 hours have passed.  Precious hours after Claire has gone to sleep, before she wakes however many times she will that night, when I should perhaps be tending to myself in other ways.  Tea?  Reading?  Yoga?  Games/movies/chatting with the man I love......  Sometimes I am starkly aware of the time I've spent seeking inspiration in far off places instead of living in my world and enjoying what is right here.

And oh my gosh, it's the right here that really matters- as we all know.

For the most part of course, right here doesn't really need to be enhanced or inspired by the outside world at all.  Right here is pretty damn beautiful just as it is.  And where there is room for improvement, well, that will most likely be tended to best by focusing on what's right in front of me instead of on how I can make a fabulous stenciled wall hanging or the most impressive dinner ever or how I can do a better job cleaning my home naturally or more lovingly parenting my child or what books I should be reading or, or, or......

I am definitely not saying that I don't need an escape from time to time because of course I do.  I think we all do.  This "I'm going to spend my life with this person and together we will raise this other little person and we will spend a large amount of our time together trying to do great things and acting fair and nice and kind" thing can be tough.  Tricky to navigate, for sure.  I absolutely believe that we all, each and every one of us, need time for ourselves as often as we can get it, to just. be. ourselves.  Whatever that looks like for us.  We need to have the time and space and freedom to nourish our own goals and dreams and desires, including, and perhaps most especially, the ones that do not tie in directly with our family life.

What I am saying is that I feel the need to reevaluate the time I spend online.  Especially the time not spent writing, corresponding, or looking up some pertinent information.


I'm not alone in these feelings, I know.  I'm sure most bloggers (most people for that matter) and certainly the ones who are also mothers, must feel the same sense of conflict from time to time.   We write about our lives with our families, about what we do to make the time together meaningful and inspiring, where we find inspiration, what we hope for the future, etc..... but then we often get caught up looking and searching and clicking and linking for larger chunks of time than we want or plan to.  Could make us feel a tad bit contradictory.  Does me.

But so anyway...... where is that line?

Is it all about setting limits for yourself?  I think for me, that may be the answer.

I won't be writing any less.  In fact, I'd like to write more.  Write more, spend some (perhaps self-alotted amount of) time leisurely looking and oohing and ahhing at what's out there that inspires me.

And then promptly turning off the computer and reminding myself what is truly to-the-bone important to me, and dive into that world instead.





Into that very real and very right here right now world.

8 comments:

  1. i struggle with this too. so much to juggle, so much i'd like to do each day. i have cut back my computer time a lot in the last six months but i think even further adjustments are in order as i'd rather be creating and writing more rather than seeking more inspiration. i guess refocusing is the word.

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  2. I too struggle with this. Too much time reading not enough time living and doing. I'm trying to find the balance. Let us know how you find yours.

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    1. likewise!

      And I will certainly do my best to find mine... though I'm thinking it will be something of a long, perhaps lifelong, search.

      I think the answer for me (for now) may be in deciding how much time daily I feel is an acceptable amount to spend looking/reading/etc, dedicating chunks of time to write instead of just sneaking it in in bits here and there, and actually LOOKING at the piles of things I already have waiting for me to create/make/do.

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  3. I think I go through cycles. Cycles of wanting/needing something from outside and then times where I'm really focused on the life within...Even so, though, there's usually a need on my part to find some discipline to turn off/walk away from the computer. Right now, the computer is in the coldest room of the house, so, er, that helps to shoo me away...:)

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    1. ah, that's good thinking- placement of computer in undesirable location.... could definitely work!

      I guess everything is about cycles really, isn't it? cycles and the constant striving for balance. (whatever THAT means)

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  4. Yes, Yes, I agree with you.....love this post and found you via Beauty that Moves. By the way, I am only giving myself about twenty minutes of computer time to check out blogs then promised myself to turn it off! Your right about clicking and getting sucked into "life online" and forgetting to live the real one that is under your nose. I have to constantly remind myself to "get back to reality". I think like all things, blogging in moderation is creative, motivating and inspirational when done in moderation, but it must be controlled and boundries must be set. I have learned so much from reading inspirational blogs like Beauty that Moves, Soule Mama etc....but I pick my favorites and only venture to new ones (like yours) several times a week for a limited amount of time. Anyway, that is my two cents....but I really liked your post!

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    1. Thank you! And thanks for taking the time to read it and leave a comment- think I need to set a time limit for myself as well, that's a good idea. time to write, then a short bit of time to look around. yesterday I left the computer off all day and it was really quite nice. should do that more often, no doubt!

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thanks for taking the time to read and comment~