2.20.2011

Sunday morning rambling....

~ Hearing the train while getting Claire down for a nap this morning, I was immediately taken back in time to this time last year, when I'd find myself up at all hours, quietly nursing my tiny new babe, all bundled up (because it was SO much colder than it has been lately) in a quiet house that was still so new to me, and I'd hear that train whistle a mile away.... it was soothing, I heard it often, and somewhere along the lines it became a part of our story.  We've been using some iTunes white noise in the bedroom for several months now and I don't notice the train as often.  I just realized how much I miss it, and how powerful the association of it is for me.  I was right there again, figuring it out, smelling her sweet newborn smell, overwhelmed by all of the emotions and challenges that came with brand new motherhood.  I'm big on memories.  I love looking back at pictures, reading old journal entries.... but this is my favorite kind of recollection... when I can feel it in my bones and be in that place again, even if only for a few moments.  There's nothing quite like it.  I suppose that is one of the very best reasons to live in the moment and truly notice the tastes, sights and sounds of your life..... especially when you find yourself in a moment you'd like to hold onto forever.... when you meet up with those senses again, you get to relive the beauty.

~ I've been thinking about the writing I do here, and about how it has replaced my regular journal in many ways.  I've been thinking that it is all over the place, with no rhyme or reason.... I'm not sure if that needs to be addressed, if I need to give it some structure, some sort of "Monday is food writing, Tuesday is reflections, Wednesday is projects..." yadi yada.... I'm feeling it out.  I know this is mostly for me, this blog.  But I've also come to find out through conversations and such that there are several friends and family members, perhaps even some people that I don't know, who take a peek from time to time to see what we are up to.  This has an impact on the detail and tone in and of my writing, for sure.  Having an audience, even if it's small, even if it is perhaps just a perceived possible audience, changes the way I write.  I like it.  But it has me wondering a little about who is out there... who is stopping by to check in and what you enjoy reading about.  Is it you, ma?  So, if you find yourself here, let me know.  Because to be honest, as much as it really is for me, if it didn't have at least a little to do with you, I'd probably still just be writing in a journal.  Probably.  Maybe not.  It is a whole lot easier to add photos here after all.  I figure if you are looking around here from time to time, we've probably got something in common, something to talk about.  Some connecting to be had.  There's a nifty little place for comments, if you feel moved to connect and share a tad.  Cheers!

2 comments:

  1. I read it!! In fact, I added you to my blog list that I love to read. I hope you don't mine. People might even access you from my blog. Who knows? I had this hit me once...how different people read what I wrote. I even have new friends now b/c of my blog...both locally and a long way away. You can get a blog feed thing (if you go to my blog or click on my picture, you will see mine. It's close to the bottom.) that will show you where people come from to visit your blog. It's kinda fun seeing all the different places.

    I feel like I'm getting to know you again through your blog. I love it. And I love those moments that you described, how you are transported back in time through a sound or a smell...I've experienced a handful of those moments, and they were so powerful that oftentimes I was brought to tears. My guys are so grown now...I just can't believe how fast the time has flown. It's good that you embrace these moments with Claire and realize this while she's young. I don't think I realized this until my little ones were 2 or 3...it's sad, I know. BUT, ever since that moment, I have enjoyed every moment. I treasure each interruption, each "Mom, will you hold me?", each hug, each flower they pick for me...because one day...it will be the last time they do something like that.

    And speaking of their lasts...I have a great book that is good for boys and girls called Let Me Hold You Longer by Karen Kingsbury that I highly recommend. Instead of remembering to record their first moments, it shows you to watch for their lasts...it's a great and pretty picture book, but I have NEVER been able to get through it without crying. It's awesome...I think I bought mine on Amazon. You should look it up. Okay...well, I didn't mean to take up all this room!!! Ha. I can't wait to hug you in a few weeks!!! I love you so much!

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  2. thanks, Jennifer! I can't wait to see you either~ SO soon! Sounds like a good book...

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