Our (mindful, minimal) Advent

(all photos in this post are from years past)

When my daughter was just shy of three I decided on the eve of December to put together a simple little advent calendar for her.  It was the first year I felt she was really of an age to get into the anticipation and celebration of the season, and I wanted a simple way to pull more from the short and darkening days as we approached the winter solstice and Christmas.  Parenthood certainly amplified the seemingly light-speed passing of time, so I welcomed most anything that helped remind me to put on the brakes, slow down, and be in the moment.

When I say 'on the eve of December' I literally mean that I was sitting in the hall just outside her door quite late at night on November 30th cutting and fastening and decorating and hanging little colorful paper pockets numbered 1 through 24.  I'd seen all sorts of ideas about ways to put together a simple little calendar- from small packages strung from a branch to paper stars stitched shut with a little trinket inside to toilet paper tubes filled with treats and sealed over with tissue paper to wee little gnomes carrying scrolls of paper- ideas aplenty abounded on the inter webs, each one as lovely as the next.  Drawn as I was personally to the brown kraft paper and twigs look, I ended up going with brightly colored paper hoping to catch her two year old fancy.

Well, it worked.  That first year I often tucked a small treat inside the pocket- a candy cane maybe, or a new ornament.  A gift of a book or some other such thing with the paper pocket from that day clipped to it.  Those little capsule things that 'grow' into animal-shaped sponges when placed in warm water.  Treasures.  More often than not though, what was tucked inside the pocket was a note with a suggestion for something we could do together.  Sometimes service or community oriented, often a small way to mindfully yet meaningfully celebrate the season together.  In the mornings she would wake and we'd hear her run over to the calendar and reach her little toddler fingers into the pocket for the slip of paper for that day and come pitter-patter-stomping into our room for us to read it to her.  And a sweet and simple (and certainly a favorite) holiday tradition of ours was born.

At the end of each December day there comes the second part of our advent calendar tradition- my favorite part, the part that has the magic and the staying power for me as a mama looking back over the years.  Beginning that first year, when she was still so little, I'd ask her to tell me something that she was grateful for, thankful for, something that made her happy.  And then I'd write it on the back of the slip of paper and clip the paper atop the pocket from that day (which made it easier for her younger self to find which day came next).  Over the years (6!) since I first made this humble little advent calendar, I've kept all of those little slips of paper and I am not sure I have the words to describe how very much I love looking back over the gratitudes on the backs of those little slips of paper.  From that first year :"the cheepy sounds the birds make", and "gorillas".  From the past few years there have been all sorts of favorites ranging from "warm, snuggly mama" to "Ollie" (our handsome grey feline), "the land, the planet", "the air we breathe", "our good, happy life "our town, and our walk to town today" and so on.  They don't look like much, just colorful little scraps, sometimes bent up and crushed a bit.  But they're like magic to this mama's heart.

The things I write daily for the calendar- they aren't grand gestures.  Sure, there are a few pretty special ones each year like going to the Nutcracker and getting our tree and things like that.  But so many of those slips are filled with the simplest of suggestions for things that, honestly, we often do anyway.  They're just dressed up a bit for the advent calendar, is all.  Drawn from a little colorful pocket, they become special and are promoted to an almost ritual-like status. The joy that she gleans from these simplest of things shows me that, simply by being mindful and deliberate in how we go about our days, we can elevate our experiences and enjoy them even more- even if only because we decide that we will.  There is power in that, I think.  Power, and peace and hope.

Here are some of my favorite advent calendar suggestions:

*cut paper snowflakes
*set up our advent spiral
*make swags, garland, wreaths (bring some to neighbors and friends)
*string pinecones and orange slices for decorations
*bake cookies (deliver some to the library, to friends, to family)
*bring a box of groceries or other needed items to the local food pantry (truly, straight up money is probably the most helpful there as they can likely stretch it further than we can in purchasing)
*make treats for the birds (we often do this on the solstice)
*hike to 'Gary's Tree' and add a decoration, bring hot cocoa and a book with us (this is a random tree just off the path on one of our favorite local trails that folks have been decorating for years)
*go to the town Christmas parade
*get our tree
*decorate it (of course)
*hot cocoa with breakfast
*library trip for wintry books
*walk to town for hot cocoa
*candlelit solstice dinner
*bonfires
*crafting with friends (making cards, bird treats, ornaments, anything!)
*visiting with friends and family
*go see The Nutcracker
*plant narcissus bulbs
*watch a movie together
*make gifts for friends
*caroling party at a dear friend's house


There are endless options, really.  You can make just about anything feel special and meaningful with a little bit of time and intention.  And the added magic of pulling it out of a taped together pocket of bright construction paper, of course.

Cheers to you and yours this holiday season!

Here are links to some holiday posts from years past:
Winter 2016
Thanksgiving to Advent, 2015
Joy and Cheer 2014 
Advent Activities 2014 

around here :: flying solo

My people recently went north without me for five days (!), and all I have to show for it is this photo that I took one morning of flowers and tea dappled in sunlight just as I was starting some yoga on the porch.  Reason being, I have finally succumbed to the siren song of the smartphone (took me a few minutes to climb on board) and I am both amazed at what good photos my iPhone takes and also, I now totally understand what folks have meant these last several years when lamenting that Instagram 'ate their blog'.  Now I see.  Instagram is indeed a pretty place to spend some time, and a most convenient place to share snippets with your people.  So, that's where I've been doing just that.  I do want to share a bit in this space as well though, as I love the idea of having this chronicle of our days and hope to someday come back to reread all the bits and pieces of our days as a young(ish) family of three.  Et cetera.

So.  Five days.  Solo.  Not something that happens often in my world.  This would make the third time I've had the house to myself for an extended period of time since entering the wild world of motherhood about 8 and three-quarters years ago.  So, how did I choose to fill my five days?


Well, there was no homeschooling, obviously.  So instead I filled the weekday mornings before teaching afterschool art class with time spent in the garden, doing yoga, reading, getting a massage.... those sorts of things.  One of my strengths is that I am good at self care.  Yes indeed.  I have a loner streak a mile wide and while I adore and love my people, I also know that I thrive when given ample time to myself to fill my cup in whatever way I need at the time.  There was a solo dinner out.  Sushi and sake and such.  A long walk to and around town.  On the equinox I cooked myself a special dinner made with all local ingredients and went ahead with our traditional beginning-of-a-new-season bonfire.  I watched a movie.  I cleaned.  I had girlfriends over for a little ladies' night.  And on the morning of the day that they were driving their long way home to me, I tackled a long hike that I've wanted to try for years.  I drove a few miles up the road to the trailhead and hiked up a mountain and along the ridge, down another mountain, and looped back to my car.  It was about 9.5 miles all together and it was great.  That was yesterday morning, and despite the yoga class I took shortly after the hike and the time spent in the sauna, I am most definitely feeling it.  In all the good, best ways.


So there's that.  That's what I've been up to.  And I know there is a way I can get the photos from my phone on here, and I know I can connect all the things to make it all sync and whatnot, but......well....... I'm slow to come around when it comes to these things.  All in due time.  In the meantime, feel free to come hang out with me on Instagram if you so desire.  My Instagram 'handle' is amanda.w.riley.

happy autumn, folks.

late summer beach trip, part two :: carnival and aquarium fun

We snuck in a trip to the aquarium (homeschoolers get one free family visit per year!) and some fun carnival/fair rides and games during our recent trip to the beach.  The great big "Fun Slide" was a big hit, for sure- as was the ferris wheel.  I realized as we were riding up and around that big wheel that I feel more secure in the ones where you sit two or three astride and face out, as opposed to these that merely dangle from some unseen and hopefully very secure bolt or something.  Sigh.  This mama doesn't always have an easy time trusting carnival rides, but I get by.  The swing made me feel like I was going to barf though.  I kept thinking the sheer power of centrifugal force was going to loosen my swing and fly me across town to land smack into a building or something.  Obviously, happily, that did not in fact happen.  Good thing too, because that really would have put a damper on our beach trip.


Claire, I'd like to note, is much braver than I.

Also, ice cream.  Of course.

late summer beach trip, part one :: salty ocean air

A few weeks ago, after our trip to Maryland whereupon we swam in the Chesapeake Bay in lieu of the ocean because we wanted to save a bit of time in the car, I decided that yeah- actually I kind of needed some ocean time after all before summer's end.  That salty ocean air is such amazing medicine and soul food and it'd been a while since I'd had a chance to dive into the sea.  So we booked a quick trip to Kure Beach, just about 5.5 hours away from home.  We'd never been there before but have enjoyed trying out various NC and SC beaches and we were able to find a place short notice, so we went for it.  I am so glad we did.

The trip, in a nutshell, went (something) like this:  drive, tacos, grocery run to one of the cutest little places ever, beach, solo bananagrams (I always do this on vacation), sleep, rise early- tea and fruit and book on the teeny tiny (teeny tiny as in I couldn't even fit my unrolled yoga mat out there- but I could see the ocean, so.....) back balcony, bike ride to the pier and then up to the next town, beach, a trip down near Fort Fisher to a place that's great for exploring at low tide, seafood acquisition and resulting seafood dinner, beach, sleep, rise early and slip away for a solo walk on the beach complete with hot tea and a fresh loggerhead sea turtle nest, back to the beach with everyone, a trip to the aquarium, dinner out at a super yummy farm-to-table sort of place, carnival rides (photos from the aquarium and carnival coming up in the next post because a zillion and ten was too many photos for one post), ice cream, sleep, up early for a final beach trip, picked up lunch to go at the Veggie Wagon and alas, back on the road.


Thank you, thank you, thank you, salty ocean air and crashing waves and sand in my toes.