letters for her

In a box at the top of her closet there is a stack of letters.
A small stack, for now.
I write to her each year on Mother's Day and on her birthday.

I write to her about seemingly insignificant things and about clearly significant things,
I write to tell her what it means to me to be her mother and her guide,
about the way she amazes me and about the ways she challenges me...
I tell her how it makes me feel to sit back and watch her,
how it makes me feel to hear her sing and tell her silly little stories...
and about how I am learning as I go.

This isn't a baby book, this series of letters.
I have one of those, one that I love.
This is something different.
This is our story.
One of me learning to be a mother, with her as my guide.
I try to keep it honest and to write from the heart.
I aim not to sugar-coat and I avoid writing something if any part of me says "this is what you should write to your daughter".
Because this is not about 'shoulds'.
It's about what is.


My plan is to give her all of the letters sometime in the future.
I'm not really sure when.
Maybe when she's 16.  18?
I guess I'll know when it's the right time.
I hope they will be something for her to treasure,
something that will help her know me in a new way and will always remind her that
we are in this thing together.
Absolutely, unconditionally, together.

Five letters then, so far.

And hopefully many, many dozens to come~