buddhism for mothers

Last week I mentioned in this post about mothering that I was reading Buddhism for Mothers, by Sarah Napthali and that I planned, once finished with it, to share some of the passages that I'd found so inspiring.  (though now typed out like this, many seem a bit less weighty seeing as that they've been taken out of their chapters and simplified into little bits, but still....) Turns out it was full of words that spoke not only to parenting, but on navigating many other interpersonal relationships as well.

And so~

p. 33 (quoting Tibetan Lama Choedak, speaking about meditation)
The carry over of the practice is more important than the formal practice itself.  The time you use the petrol is not at the petrol pump.

p. 34 (The Buddha, on karma)
The thought manifests as the word,
the word manifests as the deed,
the develops into habit,
and habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings.

p. 52 (the author, talking about choosing our responses when frustrated)
So often the incidents that undo us are of no lasting consequence and in losing it we ignore the other responses available to us.

p. 63 (quoting the Buddha)
Hatred can never cease by hatred.  Hatred can only cease by love.  This is an eternal law.

p. 96
Practice mindfulness.  Monitor your own feelings and reactions and ask "what is required of me in this moment?".  In particular, ask, "should I talk or should I remain silent?"
(I am really working on this)

p. 111
It's worth considering from time to time, how much love we send out into the world.  Absorbed in our own thoughts we forget the potential in each day for moments of kindness.  We fail to acknowledge the people around us, we overlook the small ways we can make others feel connected or even special.  We all have the power to reassure and honor the dignity of other living beings.

(Quoting Myla Kabat-Zinn, from Everyday Blessings)
When a child, no matter how old, feels our acceptance, when he feels our love, not just for his easy-to-live-with, lovable, attractive self, but also for his difficult, repulsive, exasperating self, it feeds him and frees him to become more balanced and whole.

p. 139
We need awareness of the intentions behind our words.  Before we speak we can pause to ask ourself, "Why am I saying this?  Am I seeking to help, to criticize, to boast, to manipulate, influence, hurt?  Is what I'm about to say true?  Is it kind?  Is it hurtful?  Could it harm?  Is now the time?  Should I speak at all?"

p. 139
Simple as it sounds, we must remind ourselves to complain less and express appreciation more.  This works miracles on the atmosphere of the house.

pp. 140-144 (on listening)
To truly listen, to be fully present for another person, is a powerful expression of love.  
What a gift the simple act of listening can be within a partnership.
We all want to feel understood and loved for who we are.  A commitment to listening allows us to understand.

p. 189
In Buddhism our access to that which is divine is through the heart.  Buddhism is about love.  The Dalai Lama often says: 
"My religion is kindness"

from the Sermon at Rajagaha:
"As the light of the moon is sixteen times stronger than the light of all the stars, so loving kindness is sixteen times more efficacious in liberating the heart than all other religious accomplishments taken together."


And this article (shared in the appendix) about parenting and mothering as meditation, was beautiful and honest.  It made me laugh, remember and tear up a bit.  Definitely worth a read, I think.


Well, that's that.  Now I can return the well worn copy of the book to the library and return here to read through these words when I need to.  (daily, ideally)  I feel I've carried some of the messages away strongly and have already been noticing positive effects on my outlook, my attitude, and the way I deal with different situations.  Here's to that lasting!



cheers~