3.17.2014

off to hold her hand



in the morning I am off to be at my mom's side for a few days.  to hold her hand.  to try to soothe her before a lung biopsy that is coming tomorrow afternoon.  to bring pictures drawn by the girl who has so clearly been on her mind during these scary and harrowing days.  to bring some of her favorite music.  to read to her.  to just be.  to advocate for her.  to ask questions for her, express concerns for her.  to love her.  to support her.  to mother her.  to try to express to her what I know can't be expressed in words.  that her heart and mine are together and always have been.... that I am here and that the love and devotion and concern I have for her, I feel for her... is immense.  I am banking on it also being good, strong medicine.  for us both.

30 comments:

  1. Love is the most powerful of medicines, it can make miracles.
    Thank you for posting the beautiful photos of your Mama, she really is beautiful and now I have a face to go with the prayers that I continue to say for her and for you. Stay strong Amanda, and remember you have all of us out here if you need us.

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  2. I have crocodile tears rolling as I type this...I wish I could be there for her and for you! I am and have been praying for some clear answers for her. I know she is so tired and I know you are so scared. I wish I was there....just to hold your hand while you hold hers. I love you and know that I am praying. Will you please tell her how much I love her when you see her? I'm so glad you're going to stay with her the next few days.

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    1. every time I see her I give her a squeeze from you, Jennifer, and tell her that you love her and are thinking of her~

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  3. Stay strong Amanda, as I'm sure you will, and lean heavily on God's grace to get both of you through this most difficult time. She'll no doubt "know" and feel your love. God bless you and your family.
    Blessings, Sandra in AZ : )

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    1. thanks, Marcela~ I'll take as many good thoughts as you care to send my way! ;)

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  5. Sending healing prayers and courage your way!

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  6. Praying for you and your momma.....for peace....answers....and healing.

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  7. Praying harder for you and your mom. Glad you are going to be with her and shower her with love, safe travels!

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    1. thank you Karen- this is turning into a much longer and more difficult journey than any of us could have expected.

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  8. she's beautiful.......
    thinking of you.....

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    1. gosh, she really, REALLY is, isn't she? LOVE this woman.
      thanks, Stephinie

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  9. oh, your sweet mama. i just said a prayer for her. praying praying. so wonderful you're able to be there with her.

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  10. Praying for her and for you. Wishing you strength and wisdom, and that you don't run out of lip balm (hospitals are sooo dry).

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    1. thank you, Amanda. check on the lip balm (and salve, and eye drops...) next time I go I think I'll bring a cup of that tea you sent me, it is so yummy~

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  11. oh, my eyes are teary and heart beating in anticipation of the news of the biopsy and all your sweet words, this post and last.
    I am very very close with my parents as well, and I can't imagine the feelings you are going through now.
    I still have good thoughts, high hopes and much love going out over the country right to you and your mom.
    XO
    C

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    1. thanks so much, Cory~ it is incredibly hard but I am hanging in and remaining hopeful and taking deep, deep breaths.
      xo

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  12. Prayers for you and your Mom! Go forth and be her champion!!

    Linda in VA

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    1. thanks, Linda~ that I am trying to be.

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  13. Hope everything goes well for your mama. It is a difficult thing to see our parents unwell, no matter how old we are. Prayers for you all.

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    1. thanks, Molly~ I appreciate the well wishes and prayers. so difficult, yes indeed.

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  14. your mother is so fortunate to have you be there to hold her hand, and just be there. You too are fortunate for this time alone with her. Hugs

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    1. thank you, Diane~ I am back and forth between worlds now, always thinking of her and waiting to get back to her bedside when I'm not there.

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thanks for taking the time to read and comment~