3.03.2014

sitting tight

my mom has been in the critical care unit of the hospital since early Saturday.  she has a rather severe case of pneumonia, in both her lungs, and is having a difficult time keeping her blood oxygen saturation levels even remotely close to acceptable levels unless she's wearing the BiPap.  today they determined it is viral (which explains a bit about why the iv antibiotics hadn't made a bit of difference), and started her on new meds to try to get it under control.  I'm hoping that will make a world of difference, because when I visited yesterday she was in pretty poor shape.

I stopped by the store on my way out there, filling my cart with things I thought she'd like to have.  sesame bagels, a vitamin c juice, dark chocolate/cranberry/nut trail mix.  crossword puzzles, magazines, lotion, lip balm, face cleansing wipes, throat lozenges, a small potted violet.  I also threw in a ball of yarn and a crochet hook.  well, as soon as I saw her it was clear that many of those things were not going to be put to use.  not yet anyway.  just sitting up, talking quietly.... those things wore her out and took much needed oxygen away from her.

so I sat there, held her hand.  talked to her a bit.  I braided her hair and rubbed her feet, opened the lip balm, wiped her neck with one of the cleansing wipes.  I mothered my mother.  I worried.  I got mad at all of the tubes running in and out of her and tried to will her lungs to open up and take in that oxygen instead of ignoring it as they were.  the nurse reminded us to keep her still and not talking, said if she couldn't get her oxygen levels up the next step would be a ventilator...

I ate a not-quite-mediocre salad from the cafeteria, sat there talking to my mother's husband and my grandfather and his wife (who drove eight hours from Memphis as soon as they heard she was in the critical care unit), trying to make small talk over the worry in our minds.

today, in the last couple of hours really, I've been getting updates from my grandfather's amazing wife (who has been in my life since I can remember, I just didn't grow up calling her grandma) and they've all been good.  so I suppose those new meds are working.  I am feeling so relieved, and not quite so much like there is a boulder resting right on my heart, as I was feeling this morning.  tomorrow I'll go back out to spend most of the day with her, holding her hand and giving her all the love I can.


20 comments:

  1. Oh hugs to you Amanda. I'll be thinking good thoughts for your mama. It's an eerie phase to enter -- when our parents begin to need us just as we've always needed them. I wish her all the best and hope she regains her strength soon! xo, Nichole

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  2. Oh my, dear one. I am so sorry to hear that. So sorry. I bet she will be just fine with all that good love around her. I hope you are holding up okay, it just sounds so stressful.

    I was going to tell you about how I received my gift today and how much I loved it. Such a great idea you had.

    But, much much more importantly, back to your mom. I will be sending lots of love and good thoughts your way. xoxoxo

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  3. Hang in there! I hope she'll be ok. Liquids are key but I'm sure she's being well taken care of.

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  4. Dearest Amanda, I am so sorry to hear about your mom, but am glad to hear the new meds are starting to work and I hope she will make a full recovery quickly. Please during all of this remember to take care of yourself too. It's so easy to push aside one's needs when a loved one is ill, but you must take care of yourself so you will have the strength to care for her [and for your sweet wee one]. Hugs to you.

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  5. Oh, you are such a gem for loving your mother so well. This is what so many people are missing in their lives, both giving and receiving. Stay strong and be courageous.

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope your mother continues to improve, she's so lucky to have you to take great care of her!

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  7. Prayers for her recovery. My MIL had that several years ago and she was able to pull out of it. At one point she was delirious and stood up in bed and tried to take all her tubes out so she could go home. All 95 lbs of her was fitting off the nurses and my husband. LOL!

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  8. oh amanda, i'm so very sorry. i'll be sending thoughts of health and healing your way... your mothers way. i hope your remembering to take care of yourself as well... these times are always so hard... i wish your family all the best and that your mother is home and well soon... and that this long sick winter will once and for all end.

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  9. Amanda, I'm sorry it's a difficult time right now, but I'm sure the love and your care for your mom makes her feel better. I'll be thinking of you and your family, sending healthy energy your way, and hoping your mom feels better and goes home soon. Stay strong and take care of yourself too.

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  10. I am so very sorry for this difficult time in your family's life. I'd like to share this one thing. My mom died last July after several months of pretty serious illness. I nursed my mom. I loved my mom ... and learned to know her in a very different way than I had previous to this. I thank God for every precious moment we had with her. I truly believe we can breathe strength back into people by holding their hand and loving them. I took a picture of my mom and my hands interlocked two days before she left us. That picture sits on my desk, in my front hallway and on my nightstand. It is the treasure I hold most dear. Remember to remember every detail of these days ... one day they will be your most precious treasure.

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  11. Hi Amanda: My prayers are with you, your family and your mom. You are doing all that is being asked of you so my prayer for you is to be strong, brave and of open heart, God takes care of all the rest.
    Blessings to you and your family, Sandra in AZ

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  12. Amanda - my prayers are with you and your mom. May she have a speedy recovery.

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  13. So sorry to hear about your mom. Sending thoughts and prayers.

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  14. So sorry to hear about your mom. Sending lots of good thoughts and wishes her way!

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  15. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.!! You are a wonderful daughter.
    Christina

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  16. So sorry to stop by to this news :-( Praying for healing.

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  17. oh my goodness! Sending healing thoughts and well wishes your family's way. xoxo!

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  18. what stress! I am praying for you and your mother, may she heal quickly and you feel less stress and more peace. (I did receive your email, thank you!!!)

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  19. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. That is so hard. I am thinking about you and sending prayers for quick healing for your mother.

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  20. It sounds like your mom is surrounded by loving people helping and willing her back to good health. Sending positive wishes and hugs to you all.

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thanks for taking the time to read and comment~