home

my definition of home has always been a bit fluid, and influenced by a handful of things
as I get older, and most certainly since becoming a parent, I am starting to find it
easier to pinpoint
often, (almost always) it is people
often, (almost always) it is a place
always, it is a feeling

of course it's best when all three are involved, and they usually are
naturally

right now, well into winter, I find it easiest to define home.
whereas spring and summer are about flinging open the doors and windows and happily spreading out into the world- the yard, the neighborhood, the surrounding mountains and streams.... even further if we are lucky....
this time of year is all about drawing back in
into ourselves, and into our homes

we watch as the piles in the woodshed dwindle.... and this year, finally, we find deep satisfaction in heating our home exclusively with wood

for now, home is the crackling of the fire
the always dusty hearth covered with bits and pieces of sticks and whatnot
the smell of woodsmoke as you enter our house

always, it is the
sleeping, noisy breath of a newly three year old
it is that comfortable feeling, that relief, in being where I am most myself
it is where I wake up to (on good days) giggles and snorts and
(on trickier days) a grumpy but still somehow charming little voice

as the cold creeps in and stays for extended visits,
home is slippers and robes
sleeping in socks
pajamas well into the day
it is tea, all day long
and bread, rising again on the counter, the table, in front of the wood stove
it is the chasing after of newly three year old toes

it is the once again growing dependence on the library stack
a stack that teeters taller as the mercury drops
it is baking with mama
it is the train (and the highway, a mile and a half away)
sounding closer than it did months ago
it is the night sounds shifting from crickets and barking dogs
to screech owls and whirling winds

there is still the chasing of chickens and sunbeams around the yard
though basking in those beams is now a rare treat and carries a slight sense of urgency,
like this is important stuff here
soak it in, soak it in
store it away for the cold days still to come

as I've gotten older I've come to embrace winter so much more
come to even look forward to the longer nights
there is more talking, more interaction between the grownups
games by the fire and discussions about what ifs and maybes...
something I am hungry for and welcome wholeheartedly

there is more time to reflect on and bask in what it is
that we call home

the days have of course started growing slightly longer,
and bulbs peek their heads up as if to see if all is clear
blueberry bushes and apple trees think about sending tender leaf buds into the cold world
(not yet, not yet, wait a little longer!)

spring is sweet and highly anticipated, but I sit here and think
you can hang around a bit, winter~
you've got your selling points
your allure

I am good with coziness and warm socks and tea and fireside chats