2.26.2013

february funk

Old man winter and I have kept things pretty chummy this year.  I've managed to keep my eye on the silver linings of sap boiling, fire stoking, book reading, food eating and tea drinking, and not dwell much on the darkness and cold and bitterness.

But.

It seems a case of that nagging late february funk has been trying hard (haaaarrrd) to creep in on me these past few days.

This morning, after waking up (much later than I'd intended, after going to bed at a fairly decent time with the goal to rise a while before my little lass and hence get a big fat dose of mama time) to a power outage and icy cold bitterness, I found myself wallowing more than a bit and in need of rescue from succumbing to the blues.  The power came back on after a while, but I sort of cruised along on autopilot for most of the morning, trying to be cheerful with Claire, trying to stay warm (I wasn't motivated enough to go scrounge for dry kindling with which to start a fire and I'm too stubborn to turn on the heat, because we haven't so far this year and I don't want to break that), trying to think of fun things to do with her, trying to keep her newly-three-year-old mood swings at bay while staring mine down as well.  I called Mike for some cheering up, and it helped a bit.  I mean, it's not really his thing, talking on the phone and playing cheerleader.  Probably like it isn't a lot of guys' thing.  But he put in a good effort and that alone, the intention, along with hearing his voice, helped.  I made a very big cup of tea.  I got dressed (at about, um, 1:45 in the afternoon) and made an effort to make an effort.  A cute skirt with tights, fuzzy warm boots, fuzzy warm sweater, earrings and a colorful scarf.  Leg warmers, even.  For real.  It wasn't just jeans and a long sleeved t shirt, anyway, and that was the point.  And then of course just getting out of the house and going to work was helpful too.  After work I decided to swing by the library and then Claire and I walked around town a bit, stomping fallen icicles at the park and then stopping for an enormous mug of hot cocoa at one of our local coffee shops.  Complete with whipped cream, cocoa, and mini chocolate chips.  Very, very good.  Claire decided that we should drink it there and really, that was a good call.  It turned our outing into more of an adventure and I needed that.  We lingered over the yummy treat and she exclaimed (quite loudly) several times "oh this is goooood!".   And then we walked some more before crunching icicles again and heading back home.

February can be hard.  Cabin fever.  Winter blues.  Today, I had it, whatever you want to call it.  I felt tired and cranky and unmotivated and like I was just some lazy being sitting around in my pjs every day reading books and making lists of things I want to do but not actually doing any of them.  I was snappy over the littlest, silliest things.  I was way down in that "everything feels monotonous and stagnant" mindset and it wasn't pretty.

So the morning was horrid and the afternoon got better after I made an attempt to pull myself out of funkytown.  And sometimes all it takes is that attempt.  Willing yourself (by which I mean myself) to exert just a little bit of energy.  Go outside.  Go for a walk.  Do something.  And the reminder to myself that within hours my outlook will likely be rosier and things will indeed seem brighter.  My life, it turns out, is not really stagnant and monotonous (well, at times it is monotonous, but usually pleasantly so and besides, I kind of signed up for that with the whole parenthood thing).  And I am not really just a lazy bag of bones who never gets out of my pjs and does nothing more than make lists of things I can't ever hope to attain.

I am way more than that.  I often even cross things off those pesky lists.  While not snapping at loved ones and fully dressed in non-pajamas, I'll have you know.



(if I had photos to add to this post, there would be one of the amazingly therapeutic and quite beautiful hot cocoa and one of my leg warmers,  but I have none to share)


8 comments:

  1. I've been in a funk, too. I am also very unmotivated. :( I think it's the drizzly, dreary weather we've been having, and my kids are twiddling their thumbs, itching to get outside and hang out with their friends. I will be glad for Spring! I usually love the cold weather, and I still do, but I'm ready for some warmth and sunshine and pretty new things springing up out of the ground.

    Glad it's not just me! ;)

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    1. today was warm and sunshiney and just what we needed. garden work, chicken chasing, picnic snacks and outside play. tomorrow (and the weekend) are supposed to be wintry again, but this day of respite (and vitamin d!) fed my soul for sure~
      xo

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  2. My advice for getting out of the funk is to bring something creative, bright and new into the home that you can make yourself. I often turn to pinterest for ideas. But it sounds like you create and decorate a lot already! Maybe planning out your garden could be interesting. That way you can make a sketch for every year and look back on how it's evolved. Or there's nothing like a little "early" Spring cleaning. I've been meaning to get into the cellar but it's too cold here to even bother...ah one day.

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    1. excellent advice, for sure~ I've got the lists of ideas and whatnot, it's the motivating myself to do them that at times stands in my way. there has been LOTS of painting and dancing happening these days, and very soon- seed starting. garden planning is here, too (actually writing up a garden planning post) and it definitely makes me smile! this year I finally have a committed gardening/homesteading journal that has already been filled a bit with our sugaring season adventures. and spring cleaning- yes, yes! in spurts and bursts it happens here and there.
      thanks!

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    2. Seeing the other replies makes me chuckle a little. I'm quite the opposite when it comes to dreary weather. Because I work in an office all day and previously worked in a lab all day, all I did was day dream of being outside and what I could be doing. The dreary weather days helped me focus because I knew I didn't want to be out there in all that nastiness.

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    3. I bet the trick there lies in whether you are working outside of the home or not~ when it's cold and icy and I'm at work, it doesn't get to me, but when we've spent a few days cooped up at home and can't get it together to go out and brave the elements.... well, then it can get a bit cabin-fevery. I generally like a soft, rainy day, otherwise.

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  3. I know exactly what you mean. I thought January was long, February seems to feel longer. This winter is hanging around far too long! Keep warm and cozy - hopefully Spring is on its way :)

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    1. today was beautiful and warm- we spent a lot of time outside. tomorrow, back to winter for several days, but I think I filled up on my vitamin d and sunshine enough today to last me through this next stretch ;)

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thanks for taking the time to read and comment~