merry

These last several days have been so sweet.  Claire and I (after giving papa the okay to pass once I saw the look on his face when I told him of the plans...) gathered with others to sing carols in the living room of one of our wonderful neighbors as she played the piano.  The little ones ate cookies and crackers and jumped around while the adults sang, talked and drank wine.

Family and friends came to enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with us and traditions new and old were enjoyed and shared.  We did a pretty good job keeping the gifting sweet and simple.  And meaningful.  We ate.  And laughed.  And ate.  And loved.

And ate.

There was the baking of a new favorite sugar cookie recipe, the drinking of hot cocoa in perfectly sized little mugs (though, we grown-ups happily refilled those "perfectly sized" little guys several times each...), Christmas specials (as in television) from our childhoods shared with our little one~

favorite recipes were made, new ones tried, goodies shared all around~

Quietly and happily I put together what I think (and I do acknowledge my bias here) were some of the most wonderful (and super inexpensive!) gifts.... and at the same time realized what it is I want to go on the wall behind our couch.... a large collection of these 5 x 7 framed works of Claire's art~

cooking, cooking, cooking....

and a little drinking~  but mostly cooking, eating, laughing

We made homemade pierogis and cream of mushroom soup (complete with a big dollop of mashed potatoes upon serving), an attempt on my part to relive the traditional Christmas Eve dinner served by my grandmother.

It was excellent.  Even though the pierogis were a little over baked.  Next year I'll do them a little differently.  But still.  Grandma Helen would be proud, I think.

Later that evening, she helped knead the dough for the cinnamon rolls,

and we filled her stocking for the first time~

In the morning, we sat around the fire and slowly pulled treats and gifts from our stockings.  How fun it was to watch Claire pull things out and look up at us in near disbelief that there was still! more! inside! And then it was baking time.  Guests arrived and there was some more exchanging of gifts.  We ate cinnamon rolls and still-warm-from-my-mom's-oven bread pudding.  And bacon.  A not so balanced but oh so yummy Christmas morning meal.

Oh, and sugar cookies.  And the truffles a good friend brought along to share. (thanks, Jess!)

And when we ran out of coffee, Mike suggested I open a few gifts (a Chemex carafe and filters and a pound of good coffee) so that we could brew up some more.  This time in a new (to us) way.  Mmmm-mmm.

(truffles and icing for the cinnamon rolls) 

Not wanting to overdo the gifting excitement for the littlest of us, we spread things out and presented a gift to her here and there.  In between that and the intake of sugars in various forms, and after a nap, we played in the dirt a little and visited with neighbors.  (who just a week ago passed along that little red dress)  The same neighbors that Claire and I shared Christmas dinner with last year after being invited last minute since we were snowed in and couldn't make it out to visit Mike at the Fire Department.  Good people.

To thank them for so kindly passing along the dress, and for the gift of Claire's first homemade play dough and a pint jar full of homemade chocolate sauce, and for just being generally wonderful neighbors, I promptly went about spilling red wine on their white tablecloth.  On a table that was beautifully set with greenery and candles and old china.

Before dinner was even served.

Grace, if you are reading this~ I know.  I know.  You don't really care.  No big deal.  Bleach.  Etc. (but I still felt bad)

After our visit, we walked back home to check on our own meal and to settle in for the evening,

to play 'kitchen' a bit,

and, um, to dig into some more of the leftover bread pudding..... (mom! I need that recipe)

Today Claire used her new little table top/travel easel (traveling or not, it was still fun to mix it up a bit) from Grandpa Bruce and we let her open another gift or two.  Aside from her wooden play kitchen, her gifts from us were/are mostly a mix of things I found at a toy swap, yard sales, and the thrift store.  Books, kitchen accessories, some dress up dresses, a puzzle, some blocks, a little train set, a garbage/recycling truck.....

A few of them are still under the tree.  I think we'll be spreading it out for a few days.  Soaking it in slowly. Not overwhelming her with lots of new stuff at once.  Even though it isn't really, by any means, "lots".

She seems to like my new painting-drying system.

So.  Our celebrations in a nutshell.  And still more to come with more family coming to visit this week.  My sister in law, Nana and Pipop, my grandparents from Tennessee..... I love being able to have this whole week to relax and linger, visit and enjoy.  It truly has been a wonderful few days.

Of course we had some of those moments.  The ones of frustration and dwindling patience as we assembled her kitchen and discovered a cracked piece of wood and a split in half (!) freezer door (the little wooden fridge will have to wait to be a birthday gift), of embarrassment as I tried to clean red wine off of (someone else's) white tablecloth, of evil-eyed looks, exasperated blame pointing and (ahem) overly dramatic sighs as the kitchen countertops seemed to shrink before our eyes as we tried to manage several different cooking projects at once with a toddler underfoot.

But those moments become a part of it all and that's just as well.  The less pressure we put on ourselves (and by 'we' I mean 'I', of course) to have the "perfect" holiday, the "perfect" gathering full of seamlessly executed traditions, the "perfect" anything...... the better.

I have a long way to go in that department.  Holidays, vacations, things like that are typically a tad bit tainted with my desire to make it all 'just right'.  Just how I imagined it would be as I thought and planned in the days, weeks, or even months leading up to it.  Whatever 'it' was.  I'm working on it.

I've been working on it.  And still I have a long, long way to go.  I suppose it's not so bad to strive to fill your days with experiences that are "perfect" and meaningful.  We all want that, I'm sure.  The work, I think, is in realizing that perfect is unattainable and nonexistent and maybe even kind of boring, and to be happy with however it turns out, as much as you can.  Our life isn't in our heads, played out this way or that.  It's right here.  Frustrating moments and beautiful ones all tangled up together.

Plans are good.  For some people, like me, they keep us going and looking forward to what's to come.  But life is better than plans.  Even when it's messy.  At least it's real.