and then, snow

sunshiny days and freezing nights, sandals one day and boots the next, plant the seeds or no?  picking daffodils and then stoking the wood stove.  back and forth, back and forth.  such is the way with these transitional times of year.

today: snow.  a blustery dry snow that has bounced around all day yet hasn't really stuck all that much.

and us: packing for florida.  good timing, really.  I like winter and all, love sitting by the fire drinking chai and snuggling with my people with good books and movies very nearby.  but with these spring tease days we've been having off and on, I am ready for the sunny and seventy weather that's in store for us for the next several days.  homebody that I am, I already look forward to coming back home to my own bed and seedlings and a date with the feed store to pick up new chicks.  but southbound feels about right for now.

weekending: visitors, good eats, spring(ish)

we've had dear friends staying with us since thursday night.  they head out in the wee hours tomorrow morning.  it's been a nice visit, one with lots of good eats, good company, and sweet six-month-old baby holding.  we explored black mountain one day (our town), asheville another (next city over and home to french broad chocolate lounge, white duck taco, and so much more- really, it is a wonderful city), hung out with some old and new (to me) friends and got to check out the in-progress timber frame home on 19 acres (um....wow) of one of the couples, and lazed around a bit.  

spring, being spring, came and went.  gone were the consistent seventy degree days of easily spreadable butter and sandal clad feet that we saw last weekend.  instead we had the wood stove cranked up to keep that sweet babe (and us) warm and the newly bloomed daffodils drooped their heads in chilly bewilderment.  but by afternoon we were opening windows and most of the flowers had perked back up.

and there was art.  of course there was.  it's her happy place, you know.  art and books.  and home.

tomorrow I clean out the car to then fill it up for our trip south to florida for the rest of the week.  thinking of checking out honeymoon island state park.  and breathing in lots of salty air.  and (audio) recording some of my grandmother's stories.  and such.


weekending with amanda

beach dreams

this thursday we've got some friends coming down from jersey for a little visit.  and so will begin an 11 day vacation for the papa.  and then next week I've got spring break (one of the main reasons returning to work for me meant back to working with kids.... spring break, summer break, winter break... they all still happen even though I'm a grown up!  not about to let go of that) and we'll head down to (hopefully, maybe) sunny warm florida for a few days to visit with my beloved grandmother, uncles and aunts, and my grandpa joe.  I'm planning on eating, visiting, and making a visit to a gulf coast beach for the first time in many many years.  it's been a long while, so if anyone out there has recommendations for a laid back gulf coast beach (greater tampa bay area) experience, I'm all ears.

weekending

spent a little time cleaning,
sorting through her toys, and
rearranging (and re-rearranging) the newly acquired furniture
and such

saw papa off (fully dressed in kilt and paraphernalia) several times as he
headed out for various pipes and drums band 'gigs'

got lots of seeds started,
the new berries planted,
elderberry and eucalyptus transplanted,
attempted to figure out where the new fruit trees will go,
checked in on the bees (looking good in there!)
and told the hens to get on the laying as I
cleaned out the rest of the back shed (part of which is now their new coop)
so that I can actually use it to organize all of the
garden, bee, chicken, and syrup odds and ends

we said goodbye to some neighbors and
hello again to others who had gone away for a week
(to lessen the pain of saying goodbye for one little one in particular, I'm told)
said returning neighbor played 'get the bad guys' with Claire in the yard for hours...
apparently they were fairies after the 'bad guys'
they had big sticks and so, wisely,
I stayed out of their way
minding my own business on the deck and planting seeds
while enjoy snacks and a good local brew

now said dear neighbor girl, Claire, and I are about to sit down for dinner
after I pull them away from administering emergency medical care to Claire's
giant stuffed dragon Hobart, that is

and so,
adieu


*weekending with amanda

making me smile~

she woke this morning feeling a bit more like herself.  after another round with a stomach bug over the last couple of days, it's good to have my girl back.  today she is again ready to laugh, change out of her pjs, (which I don't generally use as a measure of wellness, but two days in the same jammies was a bit much..) venture outdoors (off the couch, at all, is an improvement) and even eat a bit of yogurt and fruit.  I don't know what it is that makes her so susceptible to this kind of bug, but here on out this girl is getting probiotics daily.  it seems to have been a bad year around here (maybe everywhere?) for stomach bugs, and she did attend three birthday parties within a week, which upped her sugar intake to way above our normal minimal amount.  I'm thinking that probably but her at a disadvantage when she was exposed to whatever this was.  anyway, hopefully this is our last bout with these nasties for a good long while.

we are saying goodbye for now to our next door neighbors, as travel and business are taking them elsewhere.  the rest of us, the surrounding neighbors that is, are very curious about who our new neighbors will be.  not up in their faces when they move in curious, but...... well, we are kind of a tight little block and our house is about 20 feet from theirs, so it is something to think about.  the lone good thing about our lovely neighbors departing is that I've (we've, really, but honestly Mike could care less I'm sure) acquired some really wonderful things, mostly furniture, through their moving sale and generous gifting on their part.  a tiller, a grow light set up, a large potted gardenia and a hazelnut tree (planted yesterday!), plant pots, a painting, a large wooden chest that we are using as a coffee table, shelves that will be perfect for Claire's little classroom and our in-progress new bathroom, weck canning jars, copper kitchen scoops, a lovely rocking chair, little side tables, and, I think perhaps the best one (although those copper scoops have me quite smitten) - this butcher block:

Mike carried it over last night and already I'm enjoying using it as a work space.  love, love, love.  it may sound like an awful lot of new furniture, but seeing as how we moved into our home just over three years ago and aren't really the 'new furniture' shopping type, it was a blessing to acquire these well loved pieces and I know just where each one will go.  and I love the fact that I know their 'story'.  

we bought some asparagus and rhubarb, a couple of thornless blackberries, and then there's the golden raspberry from my mama.  hopefully all of which will be planted this weekend, along with a new pear tree and plum tree.  papa will be busy playing with the FD pipes and drums band what with it being Saint Pat's and all, but there are always opportunities to squeeze in some family garden and yard work.

I'm enjoying my new copy of Sarah Napthali's Buddhism for Mothers.  this 'complete' printing includes all three of her books and is a hefty 800+ pages.  a bit much to tote around, but my goodness the wisdom in those pages is just what I need.  waiting on a few more books to be delivered today~ always exciting, new books.

I'm getting things in order to make Claire a set of number rods, similar to these.  I am no Montessori purist, which can be immediately observed by noticing the length of the rods.  they are not in increments of 10cm, because that's not what we had.  what we have are these gorgeous pieces of wood that were given to us (along with a truckload of other scraps) by a local furniture maker to help keep the sap boiling last month.  obviously (right?) I was not about to throw these beauties in the fire.  with some figuring, I found that I could indeed make her a set of 10 number rods.  they just go from 1.5 inches to 15 inches.  but we won't really need to focus on that.

these girls...... they are lucky to be so cute and (usually) charming, because their laying is weak!  but that's alright, we're getting some chicks soon, probably in three weeks.  2 ameraucanas and 2 black australorps.  or maybe golden laced wyandottes?  we'll see.

the sun is shining, it is Friday, and I'm off to carry over some furniture and check on the seedlings.  cheers!

weekending: making, planting, partying

this weekend started off with homemade peanut butter cups made for the occasion of welcoming papa home from his week away.  I don't think I'll buy peanut butter cups again, they are so easy to make.  melt chocolate (I used semi sweet ghirardelli chips), line little cups with a bit of the melted goodness, refrigerate until hard, add a dollop of peanut butter mixed with sweetener of choice (we used plain organic pb with a couple tablespoons of agave nectar), top off with remaining melted chocolate.  inhale as desired.

my fedco order arrived friday afternoon and really, it was perfect timing.  because it was spring here this weekend.  two days of full on sunshine and blue skies.  and do you see those prices for the seeds?  between $1.10 and $2.20 per packet and most of them are organic.  and they are a company I love to support.  a seed cooperative who stands up against monsanto and really gives a damn about customer service and has an amazing selection.

we made some progress on the beds.  switching out old rotten boards for cinder blocks.  at first I wasn't so sure about cinder blocks.  because, well, they are kind of ugly, right?  but now I love them.  I can sit at the edge of the bed as I plant/weed/whatever, I can plant things inside them, they aren't going to rot.  love them.  getting them level is what is making it take a bit of time.  these things are likely to be around for a while, and I don't want to stare at wonky beds forever.  a little wonky I can welcome and even embrace.  but obscenely wonky?  not so much.  we'll probably end up with the six main beds and a few more smaller ones here and there.  under the soil in one bed now sit lots of little teeny tiny parsnip and beet seeds, soon to be joined by an array of greens.  under the soil in some seed trays now sit quite a few onion, leek, parsley, kale, and pac choi seeds.  and as soon as we decide where they are going, the peas and potatoes are going in.  the bees are back there buzzing away, bringing in loads of pollen each warm day we get.  we're thinking of taking down the wire fencing around the hive and replacing it with a low step-over bamboo fence.  something to act as a barrier for the little ones, but that we adults can easily step over while holding an armload of bee paraphernalia.  and again, with the aesthetics, of course.

Claire's little red plastic dinosaur (named 'little floor') helped make the pancakes saturday morning.

I turned the cuff of a pair of loved-to-the-point-of-no-return smartwool socks into a cozy for my tea/coffee cups.  I actually just googled whether they're called 'cozies' or 'coozies' and apparently it is quite the debate.  I'm going with cozy.  as in, my tea is warm and cozy and this thingamajig is going to help keep it as such.

we went through a ton of tape this morning so that Claire could tape her little 'dots' to a bookcase in the office/classroom.  I tend to be scroogey with the tape, not wanting to waste it and all.  kind of like I used to be scroogey with bandaids when I first worked with kids.  like "oh, you don't really need one, it's not bleeding and anyway it needs the air" or some other lame line.  and mostly because I didn't feel like getting up and finding the first aid kit.  but then I had one of those lightbulb kind of moments and realized bandaids were magic and I've never looked back.  you need a bandaid?  sure!  how about two?     maybe an icepack to go along with it... just in case?  so that's me with tape now.  it is an amazing thing to her so let her have it.

we also attended two very fun three-year-old birthday parties.  both held at different equally awesome children's play places, the Treehouse and The Health Adventure.  one included grown up beverages for the adults and the other ended with C's papa bringing the fire truck over (his station happens to be across the street from the health adventure) for all the kiddos to climb on and around.  super fun.  though she mostly ducked and hid because she's not into big groups of people right now and seeing as how all the kids were gathered together around the big red truck, it wasn't her thing.  we had our own private viewing afterwards when we stopped for a visit on our way back home.  and speaking of her 'particularities' of late, a friend shared this ("46 reasons my three year old might be freaking out") with me and it is pretty darn funny.

man, I love this kid.  love, love, love.  yes, we have our challenges, our two-left-feet kind of dances, but  I suppose they serve their purpose too.


*weekending with amanda

we dance

I watch in awe
as she grows
ever more capable
ever more inquisitive
intuitive
passionate
compassionate

from the edges
she watches and waits
a pensive observer
oh yes she will
she will dive in
almost certainly
and with delight
but on her own time

I don't mind this about her
I honor this about her

I marvel over her
and her many layers


-



lately it seems we
often
are in a delicate dance

there is an intensity to three that
we didn't see before
yeses are still yeses but nos are now
emphatic 
they are backed up physically
and emotionally

heels dig in on either side
sometimes we let go
sometimes we try but cannot seem to

we both are dancers

we dance together
each learning a bit more about the other
and ourselves

often my own reactions and emotions
are harder to swallow than hers
I own mine, after all
they are my territory
my work

for her I want much
of course
but obedience and compliance
are not necessarily traits I am
most keen on developing in her

which of course
leads us into tricky waters at times
times, especially,
of navigating these intense moments

I tend
I watch
I wait
I am sent off
banished
and just as quickly
I am called back
by a
shaky, teary voice

I rock
I hold
I tell her how wonderful she is
even when she's screaming
kicking

I walk away

I try hard to walk away calm and centered
a good example of how to ride the frustration

of course
it doesn't always go down like that
I yell, I fume,
I say things maybe I shouldn't

I no longer beat myself up about it though

I continue to learn when to walk away
I will forever be learning, I know

we are a house of give and take
a house of mutual respect
a house of frustrations that we
sometimes, often, come back to discuss

"I love you mama, even when you're frustrated"
"I love you sweet girl, always, always, always"


-


I have learned that parenthood doesn't
always look quite like you'd imagined it might

but even more that I, as a parent
don't always look quite like I imagined I might

quite like I aim to be
and therein lies a great deal
of my work

after all, I'm the adult
she is learning
trying
figuring it out

and testing, yes
of course there's that

but if I'm honest
if we are all honest
I think the testing goes both ways

and maybe we aren't even sure
who
or what
we are testing

and there is no way around that
not for us

and so we go through it
dancing together
again
and again





*not an hour ago I purchased my very own copies of Momma Zen (Karen Maezen Miller) and The Complete Buddhism for Mothers (Sarah Napthali) to have on hand....... after a discussion about toddler parenting books (Conscious Discipline by Alfie Kohn and Love and Logic for Toddlers) today with a dear friend, I remembered how I've always come away more equipped to sail smoothly through these dances when I've worked on myself. (though truly, the conscious discipline book leads one through much self-reflection, but still...)

snow day

well, we finally got some snow this winter.  not much.  barely enough, actually, to run Claire around the yard on her sled (that until today she hasn't had the chance to use since getting it up at nana and pipop's at christmas) for ten minutes or so.  and then we checked on the chickens and made a run to the wood shed and came in to make some oatmeal and hot cocoa.  in the santa mugs, of course.  always.

she made some calls on her (old) new phone.  a mustard yellow rotary phone I found at a hospice sale yesterday for $1.50.  it almost makes me want to get a land line.  just so I can use it.  I love old rotary phones.  the sounds they make.  the way you have to actually slow down and pay attention to what you are doing in order to successfully use them..... good stuff.  therapeutic, these days.

the reserves in the woodshed are dwindling.  we started the year with 6 large stacks (each a full pallet, piled 5-6 feet high) and we seem to have gone through (roughly) one per month.  what remains of the well seasoned wood is the pile in the photo, plus another similarly sized pile behind that one.  just enough, I'm thinking.

and now, in early afternoon, the snow is already all but gone.  there is the possibility of a bit more tonight.  I had hoped for a winter like those we had 2 and 3 years ago.  a real winter.  a sled and snowman and snow boots and maybe even snowshoes winter. with more than the very occasional flurry.  but that's alright.  at least we have this day and spring to look forward to right around the corner.  now if only that fedco package would arrive........

weekending

this weekend
we girls
welcomed march with cold blustery days
and kept the home fire burning

the hens figured out they have a new place to call home

there was a friend's birthday party
and a visit from beeba
complete with strong coffee and french toast
a paint-your-own bird house kit for Claire
(and a golden raspberry plant for mama)
always bearing gifts, my mama

lots of garden dreaming these days
whatwherewhenhow........

I went through Claire's stash of spring/summer clothes for the year
(we are now officially at the end of our hand me downs- eek!)

I've been eating up wendell berry's hannah coulter
thinking I need to read my way through all of his stuff




weekending with amanda

just us girls

earlier this evening, after plenty of bedtime snuggles and stories, papa packed up and left for a week, headed to some fire training conferences in virginia and kentucky.

it is supposed to be cold and possibly snowy this weekend, so I took the opportunity tonight to gather lots of kindling and fully stock both of our indoor wood racks before he left.  I've learned that if I wake up in the morning and it is freezing and we've got no dry or readily available kindling with which to start a fire I will often just sit in the cold and grumble about it for way too long.  and so we begin our just girls week with an empty sink (few things bring me as much peace of mind, at least in terms of things around the house), a stockpile of dry kindling and firewood at the ready, a stack of library books, and plenty of groceries.  there is also plenty of paint, paper, tea, and popcorn.  oh, and the discovery of a great and new (to us) pandora station- alabama shakes.  so really, we've got this.