newly scheduled regular programming

There have been some recent changes in our household concerning our animal friends.  Wolfie, primarily.  He is now living at my dad's house, about 20 minutes away, enjoying 2.5 acres of fenced and shaded land to roam, a dog buddy to play with, and no toddlers and chickens and cats (and two dozen neighborhood dogs) around to make him feel unsettled.

It was, in many ways, both a difficult choice to make and long in coming.

Wolfie is almost 12.  He is a shepherd-husky mix with poor vision in one eye.  He is scared of many things.  Thunder, wind, fireworks, children, loud noises, sticks, slick floors, sudden movements.  The list goes on (and on).  We adopted him as our own 10 years ago, about 6 months into renting our old house in Fairview.  He kind of came with the house, and was living in the fenced-in front yard when we moved in.  Our landlords lived across the driveway from us and they were taking care of him.  He has come a long way, but because of what was I'm sure a less than ideal past, he remains a dog with many "issues".  We've had a few incidents that have made it clear that he is generally not a safe dog to have around a toddler.  He is not an aggressive dog, but unsettled and anxious and fairly unpredictable.  He loves Claire and Claire loves him, but the level of vigilance that we felt we needed to maintain in order to keep her from bothering him and him from possibly (and certainly unintentionally) hurting her as a result was kind of wearing us out.  Plus, as he has always insisted on remaining a predominantly outside dog, we felt the space we had to offer (which is constantly being reduced through the addition of chickens, bees, more raised beds and fruit trees) was less than ideal.  We are extremely grateful and lucky to have my dad so close, with the ideal situation awaiting.  He also happens to be Wolfie's favorite person ever.  He knew my dad before he knew us, actually, seeing as how it was my dad who inquired about the rental house for us and developed a relationship with our previous landlords while we were still up north and thinking of coming down.

So here we are.

I miss him.

I decided as part of this change that I needed to make a serious effort to go out to visit him often, and to take him for a walk around the dairy farm that we used to walk by when we lived out there.  So Claire and I have been picking him up and bringing him out to walk by the farm for about an hour, then stopping by a favorite self-serve farm stand before dropping him back off at my dad's.  It is a nice new ritual.  One that I already find myself looking forward to again and again.  Walking by that farm and going to the stand are two of the things I miss most about our old place.  Claire loves seeing the cows and playing 'I spy' as we walk.  We watch the barn swallows and martens and look for herons in the farm pond.  It's great for me to have that time to connect with my pup.  And it's even better for me to see how he jumps out of the car and happily goes back to my dad's afterwards.  No guilt, no sadness.  Just a happy dog and a mama at ease.

thistle~ a spiky yet lovely little plant, and a very pleasing word to say, I believe.

We came home with a bag full of sweet red peppers and a couple stems of tube roses (or is it tuberoses?), along with a couple handfuls of red clover blossoms to dry.

There is a lot across from one of the farm pastures that I've always gazed at a bit longingly on our walks.  A stream runs along one side of it and it is surrounded by farmland with views of hickory nut gap.  There is an old dilapidated barn and a small stagnant-ish pond.  Couldn't help but notice it's for sale.  Not that we are looking.  We are not.  And not that we are in a position to purchase land and build a new home.  And not that we even have a desire to leave our little town that we've called home for a mere 2 1/2 years.  But because there was this for sale sign staring me in the face.  That land, you see, was supposed to sit there unnoticed for another decade or so.  Just in case we decided we wanted to move back out there and really do this little mini-farm-esque thing.  But no.  It's for sale.

creek to the right, 18 acres of mixed meadow and woods on the left:

and here's the view across the street:

So I called.  Because that's what you do, right?  Like when I called about the awesome two-story brick building for sale here in town that I thought (and still think) would make the perfect place for a small movie theater.  Yeah, that didn't work out either.  Turns out the land kind of costs a lot of money.  Well hmmm.

I just hope it isn't turned into a couple dozen somewhat matching craftsman-esque 'cottages'.  Not that I have a problem with them.  On the contrary, they are rather up my alley.  I just don't want them there, on 'my' land.  That's all.

Is that so much to ask?

for real

tomorrow morning she's off to school for real.  well, as 'for real' as it can be when you're talking about a 2 1/2 year old starting two mornings a week, anyway.  she is in bed, and I'm off to clean the kitchen, get things together for the morning and then turn in myself, so that I can keep my intention of walking her to school a reality.

2 1/2 has been interesting.  so full of wonder and growth and so full of challenges and an ever-growing strong and willful personality.  it is both wiping me out and filling me up.

here's to new adventures~

weekending

she woke early, too early, on Saturday.
I coaxed her back to sleep and then we slept in together for quite longer than necessary.
always a mixed bag, for me~ I feel refreshed, yes, but also a bit like I wasted my morning.
of course I know sleep is no waste, but you see I am trying so hard to be a morning person.
correction: I am trying (sort of) hard to want to be a morning person, so that I may actually
one day magically become one.
it's an honorable plan.

bleary eyed and unbreakfast-ed, we walked down to the market.
a raspberry croissant for her, a chipotle and goat cheese grits pastry for moi, split a banana and
voila! breakfast.
such a pleasant start to the weekend.
the walk back resulted in an armload of hydrangeas cut from a neighbor's yard a couple blocks away.
I commented on how nice they were and asked if he'd mind if I cut a couple that were hanging over then fence.... he came back with shears and told me to have a go at it.  thank you, kind neighbor.

we poked around the garden.  watered.  tidied.
I asked if she wanted to watch a show with me, something we don't do very often.
we keep screen time to a minimum, with only the occasional show and the agreement (on the adults' part, anyway) that it generally needs to be our idea, not hers.  we'll do some animal documentaries (nothing too brutal, obviously), caillou, curious george, thomas, or a very sweet children's poetry dvd from the library.  there's also madeline, her yoga dvd, and the peanuts holiday set that was actually mine but she loves to see....
there are weeks where she watches nothing, and weeks where she watches a handful of things.
I wanted to watch Being Elmo, but she wasn't convinced.  "where's Elmo?" she kept asking.
understandably.
so I decided an episode of actual Sesame Street may be in order and found it on netflix.
we ate watermelon for lunch, visited with neighbors, leftovers for dinner, then called it a night.

this morning we had a very sweet visit from my mom.
Claire was thrilled to see her and spent hours showing her all her new tricks and getting good and muddy as they made a "woods and lake" together in the sand 'tub'.
later, we went to the pool, for the first time this summer.
figured it's about time since it's getting ready to close for the season.
the pool near us is always so loud and packed and so not my scene, but we went to a larger pool
with a playground next door and it wasn't so crowded.
new friends joined us, we played and splashed and jumped,
we ate pb&j's and burritos by the pool and then,
because it's still summer,
and because it is totally legal and awesome,
we went out for ice cream for dinner.  again.

vanilla cone for her, goat cheese and bing cherry cone for me,
a pint to go for him (ahem, I'm sure it's for us to share)
yep, that's right.
the pint does indeed say 'chocolate and bacon'
it could almost be indicating the two main food groups..... but, no.
it's a mixed pint~ belgian dark chocolate & brown sugar bacon.
yep.

if you're gonna do it, do it.



*linking up with amanda at habit of being

love her so

this is Claire after dressing up and getting ready to go (pretend to) do something the other day.  probably grocery shopping.  she is always going grocery shopping.  she calls the princess dress her "ballet", and she also has a bag filled with wooden train pieces, her pretend orange juice, and a toy giraffe.  clearly, all one needs for a successful trip out to gather provisions.

she was not pleased when she saw that I had the camera.  "NO pictures!" she said.  I am a bad mama sometimes because here it is obvious that I in fact did not listen to her wishes, however simple they were and however clearly they were stated.  bad mama.

these days I am trying to keep up with the things she says, to make note of them and write down the things I find the most amusing or endearing.  or bizarre, there are those as well.  she must have overheard someone saying something to someone about how they loved them more than anything in the whole world, or something along those lines, because lately she likes to say things like (when asked about seeing her friends) "they are my friends of the whole woild" (said with her hands resting under her chin, all sugar and sweetness)  she has also told me "you're my mama of the whole woild".  and I rather liked the sound of that, even though I couldn't be completely sure what she meant.  I think I get the gist of it, though.  sometimes she dances her little hands and fingers around, all interpretive dance-like, when she says these kind of things.  it just makes it more magical, I think.  and it kind of makes her seem like a tiny little sorceress who is trying to put me under a spell.

and of course, sometimes I am.

she also, upon tasting something, will often stop for a second (appearing to be in deep thought) and say "mmmmmmmmm. vanilla!".  these things she declares to be vanilla are quite varied.  I think she said it the other day after biting into a quesadilla.  for example.  the other morning while we ate french toast, she suddenly asked me if I knew that coconut had a lot of vanilla in it.  "did you, mama? did you know that?!"

teaching me new things every day, this girl.




*I was reminded by Claire's dear Aunt Tricia that I should add this, from our recent trip north:
sitting at the table with her Aunt Jen, Claire very matter-of-factly informed Jen that she (Jen) smelled like goat cheese.

thanks, Tricia~ definitely one for the list!

out and about

we went down the greenway the other morning, in search of flowers and the creek on a day that was just too pretty to spend inside.  on the walk down she was unsure of the creek at first, mentioning the snakes we saw there recently.  I'm quite sure they were harmless water snakes, and I was surprised by her hesitation and concern, but I get it.  walking back past the creek a little while later, after eating crackers on a small bridge and pretending that the trees along the creek's edge were a restaurant, she warmed up to it (the snakey creek) and we stood ankle deep and threw rocks for a while and then leaves and then sticks.  she sat with her little feet splish-splashing in the water and then we ate a(nother) snack while sitting at the base of a grand old two-trunked sycamore that sits right on the creek.  as sycamores tend to do.

the bees on the joe-pye weed made me smile.  joe-pye weed, generally, makes me smile.  what with it's big droopy stalks that end in an explosion of pinkish purple miniature fireworks.  our walk made me realize that many of my favorite wildflowers are happiest creekside.  joe-pye weed, cardinal flower, boneset, swamp milkweed......  a couple of these I've planted on the side of our house.  there is no creek there.  we will see.

some goldenrod and boneset and swamp milkweed made their way home with us and now dust our countertops (and butter dish) with yellow and white......

I also could not resist this grassy, sedge-y little cluster of green.

the next morning we had smoothies and toast for breakfast and then, after a few errands, headed over to explore the rec park a bit.  we walked under the highway overpass that links the rec park to the community garden.  it was a tunnel, if you ask Claire.  and I guess it kind of is.  once on the other side she said to me "that was fun, mama", and I asked her what was fun, since she had refused to walk most of the way and instead insisted on pouting and being carried, something she is way more into these days than I am prepared for.  which by the way I hear is normal and I know I'll miss carrying her around, but geez.  so anyway she replied "walking under the highway with you, mama.... (big smile) that was fun!"

and those are the moments that I thank her most for being a constant reminder for me to enjoy what is right in front of me and take it for what it is- usually quite a gift, really.  such relief and liberation from a frustrating moment awaits us when we opt to shift our perception just a tad this way or that when needed.

we explored the lovely community garden for a bit, ran back under/through the overpass/tunnel and then watched (um, chased) some butterflies by the creek before returning to the car to head for home and ready ourselves for our afternoon work.

while we were away

rain rained and sun shone and even largely untended, the garden grew

we gave the garlic and onions a much needed cleaning and trim

the grapes are ready
they make my mouth and throat itch, but Mike and Claire are gobbling them up

we dug the last few potato plants,

and borrowed my dad's turkey fryer to can some whole and crushed tomatoes (some from our garden and many from our friend's farm up in the garden state), so as to keep an already hot kitchen from getting too steamy.  next up is salsa verde.  it seems the tomatillos are ripening in waves, so there will likely be a couple rounds of mole and salsa verde making.  friends, expect salsa this holiday season!

today we started some more kale, collards, arugula, parsley, and tatsoi which will eventually all end up in beds under a cold frame and/or some kind of hoop house so we can continue harvesting greens through the winter.  after I pull out some tired old squash plants I will also direct seed some more spinach, beets, and parsnips.

it's funny how, even with all the joy the garden has brought us over the last several months, I am still looking forward to tidying things up a bit out there and narrowing the operation down to just one or two beds.  kind of like I need the change of scenery, much like when I get the itch to move some furniture around.  it's the ebb and flow of all things, I guess.  I feel like maybe parenting has made me ever more aware of such things.  seasons changing, old things swapped out for new.......

alas, soon we will be lugging in firewood and thawing frozen chicken water, and Claire will be all grown.

but not yet.

sweet and fleeting summer days

These last few days have been pretty fun.  We took Claire to the Sourwood Festival here in Black Mountain for her first experience of sketchy carnival rides.  She was way into it.  She rode the train three times and the spinning thing that's like the teacups at Disney once (papa took her and her buddy on that one- even without spinning I can barely stomach it) and the swing once.  I went on that one with her and felt like I was way too big for the ride but it was still fun.  Afterwards we had ice cream for dinner and now every time we drive past the ice cream shop she points it out and says something about ice cream for breakfast or dinner or something.  Clearly it made an impression.

I think I'll aim for going out for ice cream as a main meal at least one more time before summer is over.

Of course I mean technically over.  After all, school starts tomorrow and so it's back to work for me and then we'll start our two mornings a week gig over at the Montessori school in about two weeks.

There are a few other things on that list as well.  The "to do before summer ends" list.  Swim, camp again, take the canoe out again, hike to some falls nearby that I've never been to.  Check out the local rogue fruit scene to see if it's as promising as last year.

We've been taking long walks and soaking it in.  The other night after dinner I rode down to one of the playgrounds in town on my bike with Claire in her seat behind me.  Such fun.

Tonight there is a hint of the coming change of seasons in the cool night breeze, and it's making me smile.  For even though summer has been and is so very sweet, it's fall that truly has my heart.

And I can keep eating ice cream even after summer ends, so there's that too.

forms

Somehow I've been mothering long enough now that I sit at my desk, filling out forms for Claire's impending start of school.  For real.

Early this spring, the head of school from the local Montessori that I worked for before having Claire called me up to see if I'd be up for a little work/trade come this fall.  They would be needing some help in the office, and so would I want to come in a couple or a few mornings a week and do just that in exchange for Claire being in a classroom during that time?  Hmmm.  We thought about it a bit.  School for her wasn't even on our radar, honestly.  I'd devoted only a teensy tiny bit of time thinking about it, and never did get much beyond "maybe we can put her in a class at the Montessori school some day" and "maybe we'll homeschool"......  Wouldn't be saving us any cash since we weren't planning to spend it anyway.  Wouldn't be freeing up my time since I'd be there working anyway.

We went in to feel it out.  She loved it.  I kinda figured she would.  So we said yes.  Just 2 mornings a week though.  Her teacher is a friend of ours and I trust her completely with being in the role of guiding Claire for a handful of hours each week.  I am excited for her (Claire).  I know being in that environment will expose her to a community and social scene filled with her peers that she hasn't had much experience with, and I feel that the time is absolutely right for that.  Of course she will be exposed to a ton of other great and grand things as well, but at the ripe old age of 2 1/2, it's the playing and socializing that I'm most seeking.  The rest can wait.  Or not.  But it's up to her at this point.

I'm not even nervous or teary about it either.  Not really.  No doubt that has something (a lot) to do with the fact that I'll be 20 feet away in the office and that the grand total of weekly schooling will come to a mere 6 hours, but certainly it must be at least partly because I am made of steel and am super tough.  For now, anyway.

Yep.  School forms.  She is getting out there and spreading those tiny little bird wings just the littlest bit.

I remain ever grateful that the bittersweetness of mothering seems, for me at least, to continue to be somewhat balanced out by the excitement of what is right around the corner.

there and back

away to the northeast, to visit with family and friends
play with cousins, feed horses

Summer in New Jersey means lots of fresh corn and Claire can hardly wait for an ear to be completely shucked before she snags one and tears in.

We visited a friend's farm, and helped harvest tomatoes while we were there.  Claire in her undies and a dress, filthy, sitting in the rows between the sungold cherry tomatoes, sticky orange juice dripping down her chin.

We took a train to Philly to see uncle Kev, it was Claire's first train ride and she spent most of it watching the world whiz by from the safety of her nana's lap.
Once in the city we walked around a bit and ate amazing dumplings at Dim Sum Garden..... dumplings that came with the soup inside.

Mike and I hosted a small gathering of friends from varied parts of our lives.  There was pizza, pie, and lawn games....  we followed advice on grilled pizza from 101 Cookbooks, made an obscene amount of toppings that ended up being great for grilled cheeses and another round of pizzas later in the week, caught up with old friends and laughed, laughed, laughed.

Someone noticed a cicada in the process of molting and over the course of a couple hours we all checked in on it from time to time to watch.  It was otherworldly.  After the process was complete that little guy (or girl? I have no clue how to sex cicadas) hung nearby for a long time, slowly moving around the tree trunk and I suppose maybe drying out his/her wings.

We took a trip over to Howell Farm to see the beehives opened and honey extracted, we walked around and said our hellos to all of the animals and I learned that the horse I fell in love with last time is named Tom.

Claire sat with Mike and took the lawn mower for a spin around the back yard.  This girl is no stranger to machines big and small, and watching her it would seem she takes the task of driving quite seriously.

One evening I went for a motorcycle ride with my main squeeze......... we left while the clouds were peachy orange in a sky blue sky, and returned as they were changing to fluorescent pink tinged with purple in a twilight blue-grey-purple sky.  The grounding, earthy smells of horses and tomatoes filled my nose and lungs and I smiled openly and deeply as I took it all in.  my senses were all so involved that there was hardly time for my mind to wander down the paths of to-do's or worries.  It had been years since I'd ridden on a motorcycle with him, and it was such good medicine to spend 30 minutes driving down lovely rural roads with him, watching deer graze and horses play and passing homes built centuries ago.  It had been so hot and the air against my arms was cool enough that even with my long sleeved shirt I felt a little chill that sent my mind right to fall and campfires.

We drove down to the river and walked across the 105 year old steel bridge to the Pennsylvania side of the Washington Crossing Park, where we wandered around the old buildings and homes and tried (unsuccessfully) to distract Claire from an impending late afternoon nap.  She was largely unimpressed by the 18th and 19th century architecture.  It was a brief trip.

With my days of working on a farm behind me, the novelty of putting in that little bit of time harvesting tomatoes got me wanting more.  So I headed back out to my friend's farm to help harvest potatoes and spent a few hours kneeling in the soil digging around and placing the dirty little gems into giant burlap sacks.  I loved it.  I was covered with a thin layer of dust and soil that actually left my towel a bit tinged with brown even after my shower.  I realize that may seem an indication of a lack of showering skills, and really, I do know how to clean myself, I guess I just didn't scrub as much as necessary...  my body was achy in that wonderful way for a day or two afterwards, having not called into action my potato harvesting muscles for quite some time.  kneel, squat, dig, haul........ squat, dig, dig...... repeat.  repeat.  repeat.

Mike and I had another date (I am totally counting the bike ride as a date) to go see Moonrise Kingdom.  We laughed so much and I enjoyed it immensely.  We were so close to being the only ones in the small theater, but two others joined us as the opening credits came to an end.  It was one of those theaters that makes you wonder how it is that they even make it.  Not small as in a small single theater independent films/fine arts theater, but small as in just regular old old-school.  I actually found it a nice change of pace from the monstrous theaters that have largely become the norm.  We could hear the reel turning and the screen was slightly off kilter so that the bottom 6 inches or so were in the dark.  Somehow it just added to the charm.

And now we are home.  The garden commanded quite a bit of our time and energy yesterday and this weekend we will work to can and freeze much of what we picked and what we were gifted with by our friend up north.  Salsa, salsa verde, tomatillo mole, pizza sauce, canned and whole tomatoes, pesto, etc. Mike returned to work this morning and I will spend much time in the coming days helping to get things in order for the start of school next week and the resulting start of the afternoon art program.  And so we will again find a new normal around here.  And truly, I am looking forward to it.  I feel ready to shake things up a bit and get into a new routine.